Your child?s safety is precious. From earliest infanthood, you have loved, protected and cared for her. As she grew older, you taught her right from wrong, while doing your best to instill sound judgment and good values, like concern for those less fortunate and wise money management. And then The Prom comes along … and after that The Post-Prom Party.
“To most kids, the post-prom party is a bribe,” said Roland Park Country School student body president Sarah Morehead, an 18-year-old senior.
On the other side, and the side of many parents, is her mother, Hannah Morehead. “It?s a safety measure. It?s evolved over the years, but you know the reason behind it is for a good cause, which is safety,” she said.
A brief primer for those who have not been privy to the metamorphosis proms have undergone in the last 15 years or so would begin with a four-letter word: cash. As in the ever-escalating costs associated with both the prom itself and the post-prom party.
Let?s look at the prom costs first. Students from many schools, both public and private, consider many luxuries, unheard of in years gone by, to be viewed as “necessities.”
As in all things sartorial, girls end up with the higher price tag. Today this would include not only the right dress (often $200), shoes and accessories, but also a manicure, pedicure, professional hairdo and professionally applied makeup. Oh, and don?t forget the wax job and the fake bake!
Guys get off much easier ? rented tuxedo, corsage, prom photos, sometimes dinner, depending on the setup. Who pays for the prom tickets varies with the circumstances, as does the limo.
It is definitely fun and festive (as well as expensive) to be hauled around in a limo all evening with a bunch of your friends. This is nothing new, and at least back in the 1980s provided an opportunity for you and your friends to drink without wrecking the family car.
The very valid concern about drinking and driving prompted closely-monitored post-prom parties to appear. They are a good idea, but perhaps an idea which in some instances has turned into a monstrous display of conspicuous consumption.
Granted, post-prom parties are privately sponsored, so those involved can do as they choose. But what type of message is being sent by the parents, when some of these parties cost $20,000 or more? Some schools rent out ESPN Zone for these events, say from 1 to 3 a.m. The “bribe” offered at most are a range of high-end items pulled in a raffle. You leave the party, and you lose your chance.
Some parent associations send out a “wish list” to parents. Everyone is expected to kick in, whether in cash or kind. In recent years, items included by Boys Latin, Roland Park Country School and other area schools have included flat-screen TVs, DVD players, iPods, Kate Spade bags, mountain bikes, Ravens tickets and gift certificates to shops including the preppy and pricey The Pink Crab. When is enough enough?
Can?t safety concerns be handled in a less opulent manner? It?s laudable that many schools encourage or require some form of community service. And proms are a time-honored year-end tradition.
But to add an after-party extravaganza when poverty exists nearby should be socially disturbing.
Parents: why not rethink your plans for next year?s post-prom party? At the very least, why not offer your dresses to those less fortunate, or send your gift certificates their way for their own proms? Why not adopt a school and help sponsor their prom? Why not help another teen have a night to remember?
Brooke Gunning is the author of several regional bestsellers, including “Maryland Thoroughbred Racing,” “Baltimore?s Halcyon Days” and “Towson and the Villages of Ruxton and Lutherville.” She currently is at work on her next book.
