Run DNC

Boston

CONSIDER the poor, maltreated vote. During simpler times, it was merely cast, then counted. But these days, that’s no longer good enough. Due to the profusion of voter-registration organizations, scolding us in their 501(c)3, purportedly nonpartisan way that we need to vote at risk of moral failure or spiritual damnation, they stop at nothing to bring the vote to heel. They “Rock the Vote.” They “Dunk the Vote.” Or, in the case of WWE fans, they even “Smackdown The Vote.” It is enough to make you pine for the healing balm of apathy. For it is only a matter of time before someone Garrotes or Defenestrates or Disembowels the Vote.