The wickedly funny “Man Who Has It All” Twitter account is flipping stereotypes on their heads, and going viral in the process.
Just a sampling from the Twitter feed shows why it has attracted 142,000 followers and even a book deal – “From Frazzled to Fabulous: How to Juggle a Successful Career, Fatherhood, ‘Me-Time,’ and Looking Good,” published Oct. 10 by Bantam Press.
The “Man Who Has It All” talks to men the way print media, particularly magazines and blogs, talk to women. It’s patronizing and packed with unhelpful advice. (Don’t believe me? Pick up a copy of Cosmopolitan and count how many of their “tips” would land you or your partner in the emergency room. For the truly brave, check out Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP.)
Wife online? Kids in bed? Time to relax with a glossy magazine to learn why the shape of your body is wrong & how to disguise it. ‘Me time’
— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) October 20, 2016
Nothing says “me time” like someone else telling you the right way to spend it! Yet women’s magazines do that, all the time. If you’re not drinking a chia-kale smoothie at a beachside yoga retreat and showing everyone your #fitnessglow on Instagram, then – they would have you believe – what’s the point? A Netflix marathon might be good for the soul, but it doesn’t make a good photo spread; it won’t get pinned on Pinterest or splashed across glossy pages.
Another theme of the tweets is that sexist stereotypes cut both ways:
“My wife is actually really good. She irons her own tops & makes her own sandwiches,” Steve, age 37. You’re one lucky man Steve.
— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) October 17, 2016
Women’s media often talk about men as if they deserve praise for basic self-sufficiency. That’s demeaning to men and harmful to their partners, who deserve, well, partnership, instead of an extended adult babysitting gig.
Nobody asks men how they balance fatherhood and raising children. Yet that is the first (and sometimes the only) question that working moms get asked by the media. We think it is normal for a man to have a career, spouse, and child. If a woman has those things, she must be exhausted, either a bad mother or a bad employee, how can she possibly manage? It is assumed that women take on the bulk of childcare duties, though 69.9% of women with children below age 18 participate in the workforce.
In the misandrist universe of the fictional account, recurring characters make patronizing comments about men and what they contribute to society. Chief among the quoted characters is Claire, a female CEO who sounds an awful lot like a certain presidential candidate:
“Nobody respects men more than I do. Nobody.” Claire, CEO (currently under investigation for penis grabbing in the workplace).
— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) October 25, 2016
Another favorite is the don’t-feel-guilty-just-be-a-better-human trope. Check the lifestyle blogs and in between perfectly staged photos, you’ll get tidbits not far from this one:
Working dad? Guilt is your worst enemy. Tackle guilt by staying slim, smiling to make other people happy & cooking fabulous family suppers.
— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) October 12, 2016
The idea of having it all – a thriving career, perfect spouse and kids, and no dark circles under your eyes to show for it – has been so exclusively applied to women that suddenly talking about it with male pronouns shows how absurd the whole enterprise is. The “man who has it all” makes you laugh, and then it makes you think.
