“Evan” can wait … for cable.
Even then, you might need some divine intervention to make you sit through chapter and verse of the biblically themed semi-sequel “Evan Almighty.”
This dulled-down, politically correct and most unfunny follow-up to “Bruce Almighty” stars Steve Carell rather than Jim Carrey, who played an overwhelmed supreme being substitute in the passable original. This one eschews the last installment’s edgier PG-13 comedy territory — as when Carrey used his newly acquired holy powers to make Jennifer Aniston’s breasts enlarge. Instead, it makes the protagonist a modern-day Noah with lots of cute, pooping animals and crotch-whacking slapstick to appeal to the PG kiddie crowd.
Though Carell’s character did appear in the first film as Carrey’s jerky newsroom rival, he’s morphed into a well-intentioned family man now who’s been elected to Congress.
Evan Baxter moves with his wife, Joan (Lauren Graham), and three young sons to a nature-raping development of McMansions in Northern Virginia built by profiteering congressional leader Long (John Goodman). Just as Long tries to rope Evan into co-sponsoring a land-use bill that would allow for even more environmental exploitation, Morgan Freeman reprises his role as God and commands the hapless hero to build an ark instead. Another big flood is a-coming, which will eventually tie into the movie’s preachy pro-green message, and Evan is coerced into being the bearded species herder who saves the day.
“Bruce Almighty” director Tom Shadyac and screenwriter Steve Oedekerk create one-note characters and never even attempt to make Washington’s national political arena identifiable. Production notes say “Evan Almighty” was filmed on location in Charlottesville, Crozet, Richmond, Staunton and Waynesboro, Va. A valley at the base of the Shenandoah National Park stood in for the fictional suburb of Huntsville. In real life, that would be some gnarly commute to Capitol Hill.
Worse than the inaccuracies, though, the patronizing humor never reads above a fourth-grade level. Comic actors Molly Shannon, John Michael Higgins and sassy Wanda Sykes don’t have a chance in smaller roles. Meanwhile, Carell demonstrates that he may not be an interesting enough big-screen presence for conventional main-man parts — even though he has been so brilliant as off-the-wall types in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and TV’s “The Office.”
What’s left is another boring, careless attempt to create a sequel franchise out of a successful earlier movie. But in their attempt to make the Old Testament new again, the cast and crew should have prayed for a much better script.
‘Evan Almighty’
1/5 stars
Starring: Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman, Lauren Graham
Director: Tom Shadyac
Rated PG
