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By Victorino Matus
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In our current issue, John Podhoretz discusses the chore of watching serial dramas—sort of like homework for the viewer—and expresses relief about not having to follow one program in particular:

Last week, on Monday, I sat down to watch a new television show with a great deal of buzz behind it: Lone Star, on Fox. Reviews were rapturous; it was said to be vibrant, delicious, captivating. Then came a phone call I had to take, and I pressed the red button on my DVR so that the show would be stored in memory for later viewing. I thought I would catch up with it the following night.

The next afternoon, I read on a blog that Lone Star had had a disastrous first outing in the ratings. Its creator took to the Internet with a plea for help in securing a viral viewership, calling his own show “an underdog of epic proportions for you.” But I was surprised by the emotion that washed over me. It was relief. There was no need to begin watching Lone Star because it would not last. I had been liberated from the burden of another serialized television series demanding my attention.

In fact the show lasted for a grand total of … two episodes. Creator Kyle Killen’s plea for auds to help double the ratings were ignored—the second episode garnered even fewer viewers than the debut. Following the network’s quick decision to stop production, Lone Star will now be headed to Fox Cancellation Heaven, where it will join the ranks of Time of Your Life, The Street, Manchester Prep, Skin, Costello,…

In other news, reports Reuters,

Actor Jeffrey Jones, best known for playing the hapless principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, was ordered to perform 250 hours community service after pleading guilty on Tuesday to failing to update his registration as a sex offender.

Jones, 64, was also given three years probation by a Los Angeles Superior Court judge, the Los Angles District Attorney’s office said.

The actor had pleaded no contest in 2003 to a charge of employing a teenage boy to pose for sexually explicit photos. Part of his sentence required him to register as a sex offender and update his information every year.

Rooney!

And finally, it’s been announced that beginning in 2012, the Star Wars saga will be rereleased in 3-D. According to the Hollywood Reporter, “Each conversion takes at least a year to complete, with Lucas overseeing the process to make sure each is as perfect as possible. He has said that the ‘Avatar’ experience convinced him that ‘Star Wars’ is ready for the state-of-the-art 3D treatment.”

But thank goodness the first of the series to be rolled out in 3-D will be The Phantom Menace. I just can’t wait to see Jar-Jar Binks stick his tongue out at me! “Meeza gonna be in 3-D!” Or get a load of those magical midichlorians floating all around me. Or witness the acting genius of Jake Lloyd like never before. As young Anakin eloquently put it, “Yippee!”

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