An “Idol” bomb dropped on the Universe of Sanjaya last week. Love him or hate him, Sanjaya was a fun lil’ “Idol” sideshow. Now, I’m almost happy to fast-forward to the finals.
But maybe more important than the dismissal of the twinkle-toed toothpick was reinforcement of a greater elimination truth: At this point in the competition, one bad performance and you’re gone like the wind. With the possible exception of Melinda, no one is safe. (Cue ominous music.)
In honor of the start of the NBA Playoffs, this week’s Idol Chatter resurrects a classic Shaquille O’Neal Reebok commercial: “Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk!”
Melinda Doolittle, 29
» Brentwood, Tenn.
Last week: “Trouble is a Woman” Grade: A-
Fake funk or nasty dunk: Fake funk. Simon had it right when he told Melinda to knock off the tired, “What? You think I’m a great singer?!” routine.
Tune up or tune out? With the X-Factor kicked off last week, this contest is now about talent. That’s great news for Melinda. Turn up.
Vegas says: 5/6 (Bodog.com)
Scott’s predicted finish: 1.
Blake Lewis, 25
» Bothell, Wash.
Last week: “When the Stars Go Blue” Grade: C
Fake funk or nasty dunk: Nasty dunk. I used to think Blake was more Backstreet Boy than Streetwise Bro, but now he’s appearing like a down cat.
Tune up or tune out? Blake’s misstep last week shouldn’t affect his future. Expect a strong rebound. Turn up.
Vegas says: 4/1
Scott’s predicted finish: 2.
Jordin Sparks, 17
» Glendale, Ariz.
Last week: “Broken Wing” Grade: A-
Fake funk or nasty dunk: Fake funk. If Jordin, ever grinning like a Cheshire Cat, is eliminated, her smirk may continue to dance around the stage for weeks afterward.
Vegas says: 3/1
Tune up or tune out? Despite being a bit pitchy, last week’s performance was likely her best. That’s back-to-back nice outings, putting Jordin’s grand total (in this critic’s eyes) at 2. Tune out.
Scott’s predicted finish: 3.
Chris Richardson, 22
» Chesapeake, Va.
Last week: “Mayberry” Grade: B-
Fake funk or nasty dunk: Nasty dunk. A former football player, Chris has some game. He’s no show pony, it seems.
Vegas says: 30/1
Tune up or tune out? Chris is now facing stiff competition. He’s got skills, but a bad outing and his lifespan will be as short as his haircut. Turn up.
Scott’s predicted finish: 4.
Phil Stacey, 29
» Jacksonville, Fla.
Last week: “Where the Blacktop Ends” Grade: B+
Fake funk or nasty dunk: Fake funk (c’mon). You’ve seen the way he wears his caps, right?
Vegas says: 45/1
Tune up or tune out? Congrats to Phil for eluding last week’s Scott Fuller Elimination Prognostication — and for getting better each week in this contest. Mr. Zucchini Head has earned himself another two weeks. Tune out.
Scott’s predicted finish: 5.
LaKisha Jones, 27
» Fort Meade, Md.
Last week: “Jesus Takes the Wheel” Grade: C
Fake funk or nasty dunk: Nasty dunk. Is LaKisha like Tim Duncan (huge talent, no flair) or Kwame Brown (once No. 1, now No. 542)? Either way, LaKisha keeps it real (for better or for worse.)
Vegas says: 9/1
Tune up or tune out? “A hamburger for breakfast”? That sounds like a dumb line Simon Cowell stole from this weekly space. He’s spot-on, though: This unremarkable entertainer has lost her luster. LaKisha’s hope: Maybe they’ll make a “Dreamgirls 2.” Tune out.
Scott’s predicted finish: Eliminated this week.
‘American Idol’
» 8 to 9 p.m., Fox
The six finalists perform songs of compassion and hope in connection with “Idol Gives Back.” Sponsors will donate money to benefit young people living in extreme poverty in America and Africa for every vote cast. – TV Guide
Each week, Scott Fuller breaks down the sinkers and swimmers on “American Idol.” Sound off: [email protected].
