At the New Yorker, Christmas is a bit … different.
To wit, the magazine’s Dec. 22 issue will feature a section dedicated to global warming-themed parodies of classic Christmas songs.
For instance, here’s how author Ethan Kuperberg makes a play on “Let it snow”:
“Oh, the weather outside is frightful. The heat wave brutal and spiteful. Our crops have no water to grow — Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!”
And then this apocalyptic riff on “Silent night”: “Silent night! Endless night! All is dark, there’s no light. Cyclone clouds have blocked out the sky. We’re almost out of our dry-meat supply. Sleep in uneasy peace. We may have to eat Aunt Bernice.”
Lastly, this:
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Cars and houses roasting, too. Our whole city is an open pyre — Put those chestnuts away, we have to leave now.”
‘Tis the season.
