‘Idol’ ready for Opening Day

This time each season, I try to avoid “American Idol” like the flu. I took my shot, I bundled up — but it got me again.

So this year — having watched every single audition episode, for the first time ever — I embrace “Idol” fever with enthusiasm. There’s a new judge, a new elimination format and a flock of new know-nothings to skewer. Opening Day excitement is upon us; let’s finally get the kids on the field and see who can play ball. Game on!

 

Anne Marie Boskovich, 22 (Nashville, Tenn.)

Singer-songwriter Anne Marie is pretty and friendly and sweet, but her lovely long hair is far more impressive than her mediocre vocals. She needs to stand out, and fast, or it’s curtains. OUT.

 

Anoop Desai, 21 (Chapel Hill, N.C.)

Anoop Dogg in the house! In his auditions, this UNC master’s student was derided for looking like a nerd, but his voice carried him through. I am reminded of Kal Penn of “Harold & Kumar” fame. Anoop needs his inner funk to shine brightly. OUT

 

Tatiana Del Toro, 23 (Los Angeles)

Tatiana is the drama queen of drama queens. She primps, she preens, she shrieks, she cries, she laughs hysterically. Could anyone be more annoying? Not without extreme effort. Tatiana is successfully walking a very thin line: She is so irritatingly dreadful that she is 100 percent fascinating. (And she can barely sing.) The train wreck cometh. OUT.

 

Steven Fowler, 26 (Beachwood, Ohio)

Bonus points: Beachwood is no more than a mile away from where I grew up. Negative points: Steven walked off the stage during a bungled performance during Hollywood week. His immense talent can’t overcome his blunders. OUT.

 

Casey Carlson, 20 (Minneapolis)

Casey has the looks, but does she have the pipes? Ballots cast for hotness alone have carried many a contestant in past years, but this new elimination format may strike pretenders from the ticket before we’ve even said hello. OUT.

 

Danny Gokey, 28 (Milwaukee)

Danny’s wife passed away four weeks before his first audition. He has been an on-screen fixture thus far — along with his since-eliminated fellow contestant and longtime best friend, who buoyed Danny during tough times. Danny now goes it alone — and he’s got the chops to do well. IN.

 

Alexis Grace, 20 (Memphis, Tenn.)

Single mother Alexis, whose boyfriend is away at military school, has upped her edginess with a pixieish, pink-tinged new ‘do. I don’t really like it, and I like her voice only a little bit more. But a strong showing could change things. OUT.

 

Ricky Braddy, 25 (Nashville, Tenn.)

Ricky, who are you? Of the 36 finalists, this guy is the only one who seems to have escaped my memory completely. Note: Immediately forgettable is not a valued trait among “Idol” hopefuls. OUT.

 

Stevie Wright, 16 (Phelan, Calif.)

Named after Stevie Nicks, this big-smiling youngster showed major skills during the audition. She is officially flagged as a dark horse to keep an eye on. OUT.

 

Brent Keith, 28 (Blanchester, Ohio)

This former “Nashville Star” contestant has the good looks of a star but the high wattage of a joy buzzer. I am nonplussed. He could carry the country vote were it not for our next contestant. OUT.

 

Michael Sarver, 27 (Jasper, Texas)

Oil roughneck and devoted father Michael has a blue-collar background and a golden set of vocal chords. He has a big ol’ teddy bear cuddliness that will pair nicely with a strong showing tonight. IN.

 

Jackie Tohn, 27 (Silver Lake, Calif.)

Jackie is a free spirit: a cool, outgoing chick whose personality buzzes right through her strong vocals. While not a bring-down-the-house power diva, this Janis Joplin throwback could keep people interested if she fires out of the gate. IN.

 

Scott Fuller’s Idol Chatter runs every Tuesday. E-mail [email protected].