It’s wedding season, and the month of July is full of both anniversaries and nuptials, reminders and promises of wedded bliss. It’s all roses and mason jars until you get a wedding invitation as distressing as the one that went viral this week.
The invitation is so crude that you won’t be able to read much of it printed here. “Hey f— face,” it begins. “As you know, we got f—ing engaged and now we’ve got to plan a motherf—ing wedding. You’re so f—ing amazing, you made the cut!”
In addition to demanding if you’re “f—ing coming” to the wedding, graciously providing the options “f— yes,” “f— no,” or the more universal, “f— you,” the invitation requests that guests arrive at 3:30 p.m. but “f— off” by 11:30 p.m.
A not-so helpful supplement to the invitation, conveniently titled, “shit you need to know,” advises parents to leave their children (“little shits”) at home so guests can “get f—ed”; wear “what the f—” they’d like or even show up nude; Google nearby hotels themselves, and find their own taxis; and eat whatever “the f—” they’re given.
The only pretense of manners occurs under the “wedding gifts” section, where the prudent couple, instead of telling guests to buy them whatever the f— they want, write, “If you did want to give a wedding gift, a small contribution to our honeymoon would be perfect.” If you please.
Baby boomers have been complaining for years that millennials murdered marriage, and while fewer millennials are tying the knot, more of them appear to be staying married.
Millennials didn’t kill marriage, but have they killed manners? A wedding is not the time to show off how edgy you are by peppering every other phrase with profanity. You’re likely to give your grandmother a heart attack.
Millennial weddings may be less formal, and that’s okay. WeddingWire reports that “nearly half of couples are eschewing traditional vows in favor of writing their own,” and many couples opt to ditch tradition by featuring unique music or letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses.
But however they choose to break from their predecessors, millennials should keep one thing in mind: Despite popular belief, a wedding really isn’t for the couple getting married.
It’s an opportunity for their friends and family to celebrate with them and support them as they begin their life together. Inviting the people you care about to a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime ceremony with an F-bomb in every sentence seems flippant, to say the least.
If anything gives marriage a bad name, it’s not millennials. It’s the attention-seeking obscenity of a juvenile wedding invitation. If your attempt to be unique simply becomes crude instead, maybe this is one area where following tradition isn’t so bad.
