“Barbara Bush, wife and mother of presidents, dies at 92,” noted the Houston Chronicle. That headline made me think of when, in 1990, Bush was invited to give the commencement address at Wellesley College. Students complained that Bush’s role as a wife and mother of six wasn’t enough to warrant speaking status — that it didn’t represent how a modern woman is supposed to live her life: devoted to a career, rather than to a husband and family. She’s supposed to be the president, not be married to one.

That singular narrative, that women should devote their entire lives to the pursuit of a career and let marriage and motherhood come along for the ride (if it comes along at all), has done more to harm women — and by default, to men, to women and to society — than any other narrative America champions.