It turns out that the old-fashioned and stuffy traditionalism of ages past is what’s best for men and women.
A
new study
from the Institute for Family Studies found that couples who dated and married each other using traditional means were happier in the long run. For example, men who asked for the first date were more likely to say they were happy with their relationship than men who let their partners make the first move. Women, on the other hand, reported being unhappier with their relationships if they asked for the first date.
The study also found that couples who met via traditional routes (at church, school, or events with mutual friends) were happier than those who met online or at bars. In fact, online dating was less likely to result in marriage than any other form of dating.
All of this makes sense. Every woman, no matter how independent she is or what wave of feminism she identifies with, will admit she wants to be pursued. It’s an empowering feeling, so it’s no wonder women who let the men do the chasing report being happier than those who don’t.
And relationships are inherently communal. They depend on community — on family, friends, churches, and neighborhoods. Remove that foundation from a relationship and the people within it will feel more isolated than they should.
Relationships are hard, but everything about the modern age seems bent on making them harder. Placing the burden of pursuit on a woman’s shoulder and expecting her to feel liberated is unrealistic. And pretending that a man and woman can meet each other online and make a relationship work without ever finding common ground on which to build it is silly.
Perhaps it’s time we young adults admit that maybe, just maybe, our parents and grandparents got a few things right.
