Dolly Parton is a kindred spirit. I just love that woman.
Apparently everyone else does, too. A new podcast about Parton’s life, created and produced by WNYC and Radiolab’s Jad Abumrad and titled Dolly Parton’s America, premiered last month and will feature nine episodes that help explain why Parton, in this “intensely divided moment” in America, is utterly uncontroversial and beloved by so many.
I was hooked at Episode 1, entitled “Sad Ass Songs,” which highlights the beginning of Dolly’s career when she wrote depressing songs in her youth that she laughs about now. Toward the end of that episode (the 44:39 mark, to be exact) Parton is asked if she thinks of herself as a feminist.
Her answer stuns the podcast’s host, Jad Abumrad.
Not only did Parton say, “No, I do not,” she said it emphatically and resolutely. So much so that afterward, when Abumrad is asked by another woman he interviewed for the same episode, “So did [Dolly] say no? Or was she just evasive?” Abumrad said, “No, uh, like she recoiled. Which surprised me. It was like, I don’t know, like I dropped a word-bomb in the room.”
Judging by Abumrad’s reactions to much of what Parton had to say, it’s clear he was shocked to discover that this fiercely outspoken, unapologetically independent, successful businesswoman would denounce feminism. After all, he reasons, isn’t feminism responsible for every strong-minded successful woman on the planet?
What’s more, Parton has written songs about women who’ve been on the receiving end of bad behavior by men. So why on earth isn’t she resentful like she’s supposed to be? She explained:
That is an astute and dead-on explanation of a feminist mindset: the choice to crucify an entire group of people as a result of a few bad apples. Feminist leaders are notorious for turning their personal pain into a massive social problem. It is they who are famous for using the phrase “the personal is political.”
That’s precisely what separates feminists from the Dolly Partons of the world: Women who have known their share of suffering but who choose not to hold a grudge against all men or to blow the suffering out of proportion have zero in common with feminists.
For the life of him, Abumrad couldn’t make sense of Parton’s attitude, particularly her choice to use a slight to her advantage. When Abumrad brought up Parton’s infamous breasts and the fact that back in the day she took a lot of heat from men on late-night talk shows, he asks, “So, when you go on these shows and they make a joke about you and you double the joke, part of me thinks, why don’t you just tell these people, ‘Like, c’mon, I’ve written like 5,000 songs. Ask me about my songs!'”
In response, Dolly laughs and says, “Well now, why would I go out with my tits hanging out, showing them, pushing them out there, and not expect someone to make some kind of a comment on it?”
Talk about something a feminist would never say! That statement alone puts a whole new spin on the excesses of the #MeToo movement, where men have become panic-stricken at the idea of looking at a woman, let alone making any sort of comment.
Episode 2 of the series, entitled “I Will Always Leave You,” highlights Parton’s resilience and grace in the face of her tempestuous relationship with country music television star Porter Wagoner, who “discovered” Parton when she was young but who felt slighted when Parton’s career took off and his didn’t. The two ultimately parted ways.
“You write in your autobiography that the bigger you got, the more threatened he got,” Abumrad said, thinking he’d finally landed on something that would prove Parton is a feminist in disguise.
She would have none of it. “Well, that’s natural, because it was his show,” Parton said. She explained to Abumrad that the relationship between her and Wagoner was extremely complex and couldn’t be boiled down to any one thing. Parton had initially offered to stay with Wagoner on his show, but he declined because he knew it would no longer be his show, so there was no point. “And I understood that,” Parton said.
“Why?” Abumrad asks Parton incredulously. “Why would you understand that? This is a guy who’s got his arm around you, there’s a power thing happening for sure.”
No, that’s not accurate, said Parton. She then goes on to describe the circumstances, that Wagoner had ultimately been good to her and it was just a matter of business (Translation: The same thing could have happened had it been two men or two women). But Abumrad wanted to make it about something else in order to confirm his worldview. He wanted to make it about a powerful man who couldn’t handle a woman in power. That’s a different takeaway altogether.
That’s what folks who are blinded by ideology do. To have a feminist mindset is to be mired in resentment and to make assumptions that feed the narrative “women good, men bad.” As a result, they have zero respect and understanding, which relationships demand.
In Dolly Parton’s America, Parton proves in spades that there’s a much more positive and compassionate attitude to have toward men, women, and relationships. But if you want to adopt it, you can’t simultaneously pay homage to a group that assumes the worst of half the population, and you can’t take life so seriously.
That is why Dolly Parton’s no feminist.
Suzanne Venker (@SuzanneVenker) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is an author, columnist, and radio host. Her newest book, “WOMEN WHO WIN at Love: How to Build a Relationship That Lasts,” will be published in October 2019. Suzanne’s website is www.suzannevenker.com.
