The future was never female

Goldberg picks up on the problem outlined by a series of essays titled “What to Do About Feminism,” published earlier this year in the literary journal The Drift. The articles sought ways to revive feminism as young people turned away from it and an anti-feminist movement grew. Goldberg, summarizing their conclusion, wrote that contemporary feminism “failed to speak to the realities of many women’s lives” and “lacked a vision of a better world.”

Feminism lacks a vision of a better world because its main business is selling bad solutions to nonexistent problems. While organizations such as the National Organization for Women would have women believe they are being held back by the hands of “white, privileged men,” the reality is far different. Women, more than ever, are leading successful careers and exceeding men in their educational achievements. In the 2020-2021 school year, more women attended universities than men, with men representing just 40% of students. An increasing number of women are in corporate senior management roles, growing to 31% globally last year, the highest number ever recorded.

Differences between the genders do exist, but there is no evidence that the differences are due to sexism. Women are overrepresented in teaching and nursing but underrepresented in STEM fields. Women also, on average, work fewer hours. For many women, these statistical differences boil down to personal choices, not patriarchal discrimination. The much-hyped gender pay gap shrinks to the vanishing point when you account for women’s choices in occupation and the more flexible work schedules they tend to prefer. Given the different life visions they tend to choose, there’s no reason to think that outcomes between men and women should be equal.

Yes, some women don’t want to be “girl bosses” or executives. And polls consistently find that men, more than women (especially more than mothers), prefer to work outside the home. Millennial women are not only choosing to be mothers but increasingly staying home as full-time mothers or working from home. Generations of feminist influences cannot root out the innate desire in women to raise children.

When feminism belittles this sincere desire as a symptom of the patriarchy, it shuts out and turns off the women it aims to help.

Feminism doesn’t value or understand feminine strength. In fact, it often turns women’s greatest strengths into taboos, telling women they must adopt the behavioral patterns of men. Goldberg points out this tendency.

For a long time, feminism focused on encouraging women to adopt the values of male culture — to prioritize economic success, lifelong careers, and consequence-free sex. But not all women want these things. Not all of them are healthy, either.

The reality of male promiscuity does make women freer if they adopt the same destructive behavior. And although women face more severe consequences from such a libertine lifestyle, licentiousness is damaging to both men and women.

Instead of acknowledging this, feminists pushed women further onto destructive paths and celebrated their right to make the very same mistakes they have rightly criticized in men. The demand for abortion is a fruit of this tendency. It’s an issue feminists have pushed especially hard upon, hoping, as Goldberg explains, that an emphasis on “reproductive rights” would move women to their side.

But although abortion energizes the most committed activists, it does not mobilize average female voters. Many simply do not resonate with the message that killing one’s child is the path to success.

Goldberg underestimates the negative impact of feminism’s tendency to latch on to such counterproductive messages. The movement has also embraced, to its own peril, a transgender ideology that erases womanhood entirely, refusing to protect women’s sports from male competition or to acknowledge that men cannot become pregnant. When anybody can become a woman by simply adopting effeminate affectations, what’s the use of feminism?

Of course, there is a reaction against feminism. Women just want to be women, not to be told what their life should look like by activists who are too cowardly even to define the word.

Where frustration doesn’t express itself politically, it makes itself plain culturally. Fashion trends have young women gravitating toward hyper-gendered stereotypes, as with the growth of the “cottagecore” aesthetic. Floral, flowy, and feminine dresses are now so popular that they’ve taken over the racks at major retailers like Target, even though some mock them as something straight out of Little House on the Prairie.

And on social media, women are warming up, though jokingly, to the idea that there may be something to traditional gender roles. The popular “I feel the feminism leaving my body” meme expresses a desire for men to take up stereotypically male responsibilities, such as paying the tab, taking out the trash, shoveling the snow, and carrying the luggage. Suddenly, women realize it’s not so demeaning to have a man’s help. Maybe something has been lost in relationships between men and women by rejecting differentiation that feminism once declared oppressive.

The future was never female. Women must seek a healthy balance. They do not need to be men, overtake men, or tear men down in order to reach that balance. Feminism’s “men are bad” messaging is the reason young men across the political aisle — 62% of Republicans and 46% of Democrats — now see feminism as a negative influence on society. You cannot build a future or a family when your relationship is rife with the power politics of resentment and mistrust. It is crucial to celebrate and appreciate the unique contributions of both men and women.