“The Love Guru” is unenlightened. Mike Myers’ New Age spirituality send-up, his first live action project since 2003’s Dr. Seuss debacle “The Cat in the Hat,” might have been subtitled like one of his protagonist’s self-help books, “When Bad Movies Happen to Narcissistic Movie Stars.”
Welcome to another one-joke Myers vanity project.
Guru Pitka is just Austin Powers in a beard, taken right out of the Shagadelic One’s playbook.
The comedian hams it up again in over-the-top costume hoping that the singular gimmick of an eccentric character — however amusing he looks or behaves — is enough to sustain a whole movie. As in the “Powers” trilogy, the potty humor, juvenile double entendres, and colorful opening and closing musical numbers are good for a giggle or two. But stringing together an inconsistent stream of lowest-common-denominator bits doesn’t constitute an hour-and-a-half narrative.
The sure sign of doom, however, is the re-emergence of “Mini-Me” on the big screen. Ah, yes. Anytime there’s a lull in the crotch-related, uh, witticisms, Verne Troyer is dragged into frame by director Marco Schnabel and script co-writer Myers. When all else fails, they toss in various Keebler Elf and “Wizard of Oz” munchkin references to ridicule that poor, pathetic figure’s reduced size.
Troyer plays a secondary character, Toronto Maple Leafs Coach Cherkov (tee-hee, get it? Cherkov?).
The way you know that “Love Guru” is more about Mike Myers’ whims than about the intended subject — today’s trendy, Buddhism-based self-improvement movement — is the use of the world of professional ice hockey and Myers’ favorite team as the backdrop for the story.
What does a Deepak Chopra wannabe, trying to establish his career by getting himself on “Oprah,” have to do with ice hockey? Well, the forced merger of these incongruent elements comes by way of a convoluted setup. The Maple Leafs’ beautiful owner Jane (Jessica Alba) hires love guru Pitka (Myers) to bring back together star player Darren (Romany Malco) with his estranged wife Prudence (Meagan Good) in time for the team to win the Stanley Cup finals.
Prudence has been cheating with rival French-Canadian goalie Jacques “le Coq” Grande. He’s played by Justin Timberlake in a very overstuffed Speedo, a sight gag that typifies the level of humor here.
Nose hairs, urine-soaked floor mops and celebrity cameos appeared as “Love’s” labors were lost on me.
“The Love Guru”
**

