There is a character in the Charles Portis novel The Dog of the South who follows a meticulous method anytime he orders a beer. He moistens each corner of the cocktail napkin it’s served with to anchor it to the bar. That way, the napkin doesn’t come up with the mug when he takes a sip and make him, in his mind, appear ridiculous.

The character in the novel is supposed to be a figure of fun, obsessing over trivial things and always worried about appearing smart and in control. So the idea of gluing down a cocktail napkin is supposed to be a funny way of showing how nuts he is. But since I read that passage decades ago, I have caught myself doing the same thing. And I have to say that every now and then, when I see it happen to someone else, I occasionally think, Boy, look at that guy! What a doofus!