You’re not supposed to talk politics over the holidays, but you can let your gifts speak for themselves.
Whether you’re looking to give some merch to your politico friend or you want a joke gift — if you want to keep your relationships, this is not recommended — the 2020 candidates have plenty of options. You’ve seen the MAGA hats and the Feel the Bern shirts. But what about the more unique merchandise that says, “I spent more than 5 minutes on this candidate’s website”? Here are the best options to keep in mind.
Elizabeth Warren
Support this millionaire by criticizing billionaires with a $25 mug! That may seem expensive for a bit of ceramic, but Warren could use the support. And if you’re not into drinking other people’s tears à la Ben Shapiro, Warren has a plan for that.
Joe Biden
Candidates love their mugs, and Boomers love their puns. Enjoy a lighthearted cup of Joe for the more reasonable price of $15. Unless you’re a fan of Michael Bloomberg, just don’t use it for decaf coffee.
Bernie Sanders
If you’re feeling the Bern, try ditching the t-shirts for a more exciting bumper sticker, featuring a headline you’ll probably never see in a newspaper.
Donald Trump
“Try impeaching this,” declares the description for this T-shirt, which never had a shot at being cool but would have been less cringey when people were unironically using the term “snowflake” a decade ago. If you could impeach a T-shirt for being tacky, this would be scrubbed from the internet.
Kamala Harris
It’s not “I’m with her,” but for a catchy feminist slogan, it’ll have to do. If that’s too much of a mouthful, though, you can go with a shirt bearing a much pithier phrase: Kamala is a cop.
Cory Booker
When Booker first launched his presidential candidacy, the world became aware of his history of highly peculiar tweets. “‘Sleep’ and I broke up again tonight,” he tweeted in 2013. “I’m finding comfort with my new special friend ‘coffee’ — she is hot.” The joke may not have been funny the first time, but at least you can use this mug to enjoy some covfefe.
Pete Buttigieg
Props to Buttigieg for being perhaps the only 2020 candidate to sell baby merchandise with a helpful pronunciation explainer. (“Buttigieg” sounds like boot edge edge.) The only problem with this little onesie is the marketing. Its description reads, “Will the little one’s first words be ‘Pete,’ ‘Buttigieg’ or ‘I want to vote’?” Let’s hope it’s none of the above.
Tulsi Gabbard
If you know anything about Gabbard’s Twitter, you know she regularly reminds us all that she’s the biggest baddie in the race. Will she win? No. Will she run laps around us at the gym? Yes. Get this shirt for a little extra inspiration during cardio.
Amy Klobuchar
Grit: what it takes to stay in a presidential race when you’re polling at 3%. Also a necessary qualification for Klobuchar’s aides, especially when it comes to combs.
Andrew Yang
You don’t have to be in the Yang Gang to appreciate this paean to nerds everywhere. “Celebrating numbers and facts is an essential part of our campaign,” the description reads. It’s too bad more Democratic candidates can’t say the same thing.
Tom Steyer
You might have forgotten that Steyer was in the race, but this bumper sticker is timeless. Congress, do your job, and presidential candidates take note: You can make up for launching a doomed presidential bid with good merchandise. This $3 sticker will pair perfectly with Clinton Kaine, Beto for Senate, or other bumper stickers that have outlived their candidates.
