“Mr. Mom” is more than just a movie to Peter Steinberg.
It’s his life.
Eight years ago, the Northern Virginia father and his wife decided that his two daughters — then 1 and 3 — needed a full-time parent. And since his spouse’s health care analyst job was more lucrative, Peter gave up his 9 to 5 social work position and became a stay-at-home dad.
In addition to the hassles that come with crying babies, the biggest challenge was the isolation. So Steinberg became the founding father of a network devoted to bringing the ever-growing number of dads like him together.
The group, later named DC Metro Dads, provides a way for panicked fathers to e-mail each other if their child, say, turns blue, or to organize playgroups, even to arrange to get a beer together without the children around.
“Men are less willing to admit that they need help,” Steinberg says. “More so than mothers, we tend to try to do it alone.”
But DC Metro Dads has bucked the trend, having expanded to 300 members. This week, Steinberg got approval for the organization to go national as a 501-3-c nonprofit agency, meaning he can assist thousands more.
D.C. resident Mike Stilwell is one parent who says DC Metro Dads has been his saving grace. He and his wife reached an agreement that when half their paychecks went to day care, one parent would give up the corporate world. That day came in 1998, and Stilwell suddenly morphed into a stay-at-home father.
He, too, was troubled by how insulated his world became, so he joined the network.
“Changing diapers all day, you don’t get a lot of adult interaction,” he said. “So it’s nice to just have a place to vent.”
Along with the added responsibilities of full-time fathering, both men have grown closer to their children. On Sunday, Stilwell’s birthday along with Father’s Day, he was treated like an absolute king, complete with a home-cooked dinner.
For Steinberg, Father’s Day was all about taking in a Washington Nationals’ game with his daughters and reflecting on the value of being a stay-at-home dad.
“I’m fortunate that it’s a time when fathers are playing a major role in their kids’ lives,” he said.
Daddy daycare
» According to the Census, there are 143,000 estimated stay-at-home dads nationally. These fathers cared for 245,000 children younger than 15 last year.
