“Proverbs is probably the most Republican book of the entire Bible.”
So writes Yale Hebrew Bible professor Joel S. Baden in Politico, commenting on Florida GOP Sen. Marco Rubio’s propensity to tweet frequently from the biblical collection of aphorisms traditionally attributed to King Solomon. On June 26 Rubio regaled his Twitter followers with the following:
As dogs return to their vomit,so fools repeat their folly. Proverbs 26:11
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) June 26, 2017
I have no idea what Rubio was referring to there. But Prof. Baden sees a definite Proverbs pattern in Rubio’s biblical tweets:
Just this past July 5, Rubio tweeted:
They will die from lack of discipline, lost because of their great folly. Proverbs 5:23
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) July 5, 2017
Of course, it’s not all diligence and righteousness—in Proverbs, faith in God, too, will keep you away from things like poverty and failure. On June 16, Rubio tweeted, “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
Prof. Baden explains:
In short, Prof. Baden sees the Book of Proverbs as espousing an “almost social Darwinist worldview.” Doesn’t that fit to a T every Republican you know?
All of this set me to wondering: If the Book of Proverbs is the most Republican book in the Bible, what’s the most Democratic book? So I scoured the Good Book and came up with some candidates:
The Book of Genesis: Remember the passage in which Esau flies into a helpless rage when he learns that his father, Isaac, has given away his hoped-for inheritance as eldest son to his wily younger brother, Jacob? “And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob” (Genesis 27:41).
Kind of reminds you, doesn’t it, of the way the liberal media’s heads exploded on the night of Nov. 8, 2016, when they learned that Donald Trump had maneuvered the anointed Democratic favorite, Hillary Clinton, out of the presidency that she not only richly deserved but for which she had been foreordained lo these many years. Naturally the liberals don’t literally want to slay Trump, but they’re sure loving on that Julius Caesar production in Central Park.
The Book of Ruth: “And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband’s, a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz. And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter” (Ruth 2:1-2).
A whole congeries of Democratic party themes here, from grabbing what you can from the rich via sky-high taxes to the welfare state (free food!) to possibly illegal immigration (what is Ruth the Moabitess doing in the land of Israel?).
The First Book of Samuel: “And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth” (1 Samuel 17:49).
The Democrats have been trying to get Goliath to fall upon his face to the earth ever since his inauguration in January.
The Acts of the Apostles: “And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need” (Acts 2:44-45).
Socialism! Bernie Sanders, call your office.
The Book of Revelation: “So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet colored beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns” (Revelation 17:3).
Sounds like Sarah Palin to me!
So, Democrats, unlike the Republicans stuck with their Book of Proverbs, you don’t have just one book of the Bible to call your own. You have a whole universe of Scripture before you. All you need to do is choose your favorite verses.
