The media have no problem concocting scandals almost out of thin air when it comes to GOP candidates, so The Scrapbook continues to be agape at the journalistic treatment of this season’s Democratic field. When the media aren’t ignoring questions surrounding Hillary Clinton’s billion-dollar slush fund masquerading as a charitable enterprise, they are fawning over socialist Bernie Sanders’s call for 90 percent tax rates, and positively glowing about Martin O’Malley, no matter that the former Maryland governor had an active hand in turning the state into the pit of corruption and racial animus it is today.
But finally we have a candidate who may test the media’s resolve always to make Democrats look as good as possible. Former Rhode Island senator Lincoln Chafee entered the Democratic primary in a fashion that was quizzical to say the least. He announced his candidacy with a speech in a lecture hall at George Mason University in Virginia, an odd venue that was barely full. And from that speech there were three big takeaways that defined his policy vision, though perhaps not in the way that Chafee intended. One, he wants to negotiate with ISIS. Two, he wants America to adopt the metric system. Three, he’s so crackpot he thinks these two ideas are somewhat related.
The first point barely needs rebutting—one does not negotiate with a fanatical death cult. As for the switch to the metric system, this would represent “a symbolic integration of ourselves in the international community after the [foreign policy] mistakes” of recent history. With such a dramatic gesture of goodwill, surely ISIS will be willing to go the extra kilometer to see us as part of the brotherhood of man and lay down their arms. And Chafee was quick to note that adopting the metric system could bring with it a financial benefit, as it supposedly did Canada. That should erase the $49 trillion in unfunded Medicare and Social Security liabilities, posthaste.
The Scrapbook would like to note that the metric system is overrated, and imposing it from Washington is unnecessary and unwarranted. To the extent that the metric system makes sense, American scientists and businesses have already adopted it. But the metric system doesn’t always make sense. The fact that there’s no unit of measurement between a centimeter and meter is impractical to say the least. Fahrenheit is far more precise than Celsius, and it’s usually more convenient to make finer measures in pounds than kilograms. And if you have to do a little extra math to realize that there are 6.77 bushels to a hogshead, well, it’s just a good reminder of American exceptionalism.
So far, the media have done nothing but make jokes about Chafee on Twitter, but give them time. If faced with choosing the bold progressive agenda of a cranky, also-ran New England enthusiast for the metric system or the gun-loving Republicans with inconveniently better ethics and stellar governing records—we’re confident the media will stay true to their authentic selves. It may require asking the American people to swallow a liter of nonsense, but at least they’ll have done their part to keep a Republican out of the White House.
