Last week was notable not for the elimination of talented, underappreciated singer Stephanie Edwards, but for the evolution of Sanjaya. Only a week earlier, the youngling was a work in progress, a comedic pupa who masqueraded as a real participant in this contest. But his laugh-out-loud ridiculous performance of “You Really Got Me Now” has him emerged a butterfly, a full-on circus act starring Sanjaya the Clown honking his red nose and feverishly riding his tricycle to win America’s votes. If this is a singing contest, then how long can this sideshow go on?
Sanjaya Malakar, 17
» Federal Way, Wash.
To say last week was Sanjaya’s best performance is to say it was his most entertaining. In the midst of my guffaws I thought: Are there other singers I’d rather see voted off? You bet your life.
Turn up or tune out? I don’t want Sanjaya to win, but I don’t want this silliness gone. Turn up. Vegas says: 17/1.
Melinda Doolittle, 29
» Brentwood, Tenn.
In contrast to Sanjaya, Melinda is a singer worth seeing for talent’s sake. As Simon said, the biggest question that remains: Is she really this nice?
Turn up or tune out? Fill in your brackets: Melinda’s off to the finals. Turn up. Vegas says: 1/2.
LaKisha Jones, 27
» Fort Meade, Md.
“Diamonds are Forever” may not be Simon’s favorite song, but it’s surely one of mine. LaKisha’s rendition of Shirley Bassey’s James Bond theme song was chillingly awesome. Outdated? Outrageous!
Turn up or tune out? I’m holding out hope for “Goldfinger.” Turn up. Vegas says: 5/2.
Blake Lewis, 25
» Bothell, Wash.
Blake took an awkward song like “Time of the Seasons” — a fine opportunity to drop a first-class stink bomb — and twisted it into an out-and-out success. Like french fries with ranch dressing, Blake’s performances are a tasty treat not just because they’re different, but because they’re actually good, too.
Turn up or tune out? Only Melinda and LaKisha have delivered jaw-dropping performances after which listeners say, “wow.” Blake doesn’t have one. Blake needs one. Turn up. Vegas says: 7/1.
Chris Richardson, 22
» Chesapeake, Va.
Chris’ understated, sweet rendition of “Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying” was lovely — very nice. But nice won’t win this thing.
Turn up or tune out? If Chris is saving his stuff and picking the right moments to unleash his big guns, then maybe he’s being shrewd. Then again, he was a breath away from getting canned. Turn up. Vegas says: 9/1.
Jordin Sparks, 17
» Glendale, Ariz.
There’s a buzz about the greatness of Jordin — but all I hear is buzzing. She has a star quality about her that some of the other performers lack, but Jordin’s songs have been less than breathtaking. The Scott Fuller Scoreboard shows her being slaughtered by Melinda and LaKisha.
Turn up or tune out? Highly ranked Jordin is prone to an upset. Tune out. Vegas says: 3/1.
Chris Sligh, 28
» Greenville, S.C.
The bus broke down. We’ve been waiting for more than an hour for it to be fixed. The seats are cushy; the engine is powerful. But it still ain’t going anywhere. Face the music: It’s time to get out and start walking.
Turn up or tune out? Chris’ nice tone and affable personality have tricked me into believing I like him as a performer. I don’t. Tune out.
Vegas says: 13/1.
Haley Scarnato, 24
» San Antonio, Texas
So what’s the story here, show a little leg and suddenly you’re a star? Sex sells: The strategy is a sound one, but c’mon. Only two weeks ago Haley was a weeping mess, a sinking swimmer with only one hand and one nostril above water. Glug, glug, glug …
Turn up or tune out? Haley is one rotten performance from the trash heap. Tonight, the flies are circling. Tune out. Vegas says: 28/1.
Gina Glocksen, 22
» Naperville, Ill.
If Gina was a real rocker, she’d know that any effort to reproduce The Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black” would turn out just like it did: Lame, with a capital “L.” Gina is doing a miserable job filling the requisite girl rocker role — as a better option, see last year’s too-quickly bounced Melissa McGhee, who might fare well against this season’s inferior field.
Turn up or tune out? Here’s hoping authentic chick rocker Gwen Stefani will expose Gina as the uninspired phony she is. Tune out.
Vegas says: 27/1.
Phil Stacey, 29
» Jacksonville, Fla.
Whatever happened to Geico’s gecko that was replaced by the caveman on the company’s TV commercials? He’s been found — on season six of “American Idol. Phil Stacey can’t sing, but maybe he can save you money on car insurance.
Turn up or tune out? Stacey’s Navy background likely appeals to the military crowd. Last week’s performance of “Tobacco Road” likely appealed to the Southern crowd. When is Phil going to start appealing to me? Tune out. Vegas says: 17/1.
‘American Idol’
» 8 to 9 p.m., Fox
The Top 10 — aka the group that will tour the country in a cheese-tastic stadium show — perform. With Gwen Stefani. – Zap2It.com
Each week, Scott Fuller breaks down the sinkers and swimmers on “American Idol.” Sound off: [email protected].
