It’s primary season.
This upcoming presidential primary is shaping up to be a big one with the ever-expanding pool of GOP hopefuls getting larger and more competitive by the day.
The candidates have made their announcements, received their pep talks, bought their nicest suit and tie, and now it’s up to the American people to decide which one will be given that coveted bid — the GOP presidential nomination.
But is it just us, or does it sometimes feel all too collegiate? A little less like the battle for the White House and a lot more like a showdown for the best house on sorority row?
Introducing your potential GOP nominees, class of 2016:
THE LEGACY: Everyone knows about this rushee before they even step foot on the scene because they have an in. Whether it’s their parent or sibling that was a part of that group before, by default they stand a valid chance. In this case, he’s got both going for him. Jeb’s father and brother have both gotten to sit in that oval-shaped office and little brother Jeb is just trying to be the third Bush to join the club. Whether or not people liked 41 and 43 or know anything about Jeb, his name recognition alone is an edge, though it has yet to play out if that name will help or hurt him.
THE GPA BOOSTER: It’s not that they’re not a great person or wouldn’t make a good fit, but you really want this one for the GPA boost to your overall group average. Doctor Ben Carson is a physician-turned-politician and now a presidential hopeful. The intelligent doctor brings a fresh view not tainted by career politics, traditional values, and is currently the only GOP candidate to support the minimum wage hike … plus, that high GPA.
THE DESPERATE ONE: The one that just wants a spot and has a back up plan should one fall through. Sen. Rand Paul, son of the Libertarian movement’s golden boy Ron Paul, joined the politics game a little later in life, but once he got going he couldn’t be stopped. He’s gone to great lengths to make sure that a second senate term in his state of Kentucky is an option should the whole “leader of the free world” thing not work out. The second doctor of the bunch, Paul, an ophthalmologist by trade, is using his lack of political career to his advantage with his slogan, “Stop the Washington Machine and Unleash the American Dream.”
THE SUICIDE BID: He’s given up all of his other political positions and is putting all his hope in the one bid he really wants — the coveted GOP nomination. Florida Sen. Marco Rubio is all in, having relinquished his senate seat in order to fully focus on the presidential race and leaving himself with only one option. The gamble may work in his favor. Rubio is a staunch conservative. He is well-liked among the tea party crowd, which could be crucial to getting his bid, and has even been called “the candidate of the future.” It’s safe to say that he’s hoping his future includes a big, white house.
THE VETERAN: 2016 will not be former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee’s first rodeo. He was the runner up to John McCain for the Republican nomination back in 2008, but declined the chance to run in 2012. After some time off, he’s rushing again in 2016 and is hoping for it to finally be his year. With his charming demeanor and ability to communicate complex issues in a simple way, this time he might just have a shot, or be the experienced, seasoned one that others see as no competition. What’s that they say about old dogs and new tricks …
THE CONFIDENT ONE: She’s self-confident, well-spoken, and quick to respond to any criticism or “So, why do you want to be one of us?” questions with a smart, quick answer. The only woman vying for the GOP nomination, Carly Fiorina is a former AT&T executive and CEO of Hewlett-Packard. Bringing a strong background in business, Fiorina believes she is the right candidate because of her understanding of how the economy and bureaucracies work. As the “other woman” in the overall race, Fiorina may be what the GOP needs to neutralize the gender discussion when it comes to candidates. Her weak spots? Lack of political history and her firing from HP. “Our founder’s never intended for us to have a professional political class” is just one of her confident answers when faced with opposition.
THE SOUTHERNER: Sure, he fits in with his peers, and it just seems like the right thing to do — but really, everyone knows what house he belongs in and it’s not as white as southern pearls. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), the southern golden boy, is the latest to add his name to the rush for the GOP nomination. Relying on his military background to enforce his strong stance on national defense, Graham has been labeled a RINO in the past by his fellow Republicans.
THE SOPHOMORE: There’s always one of them — they tried the previous round and didn’t get the bid. It’s a little sad, but also a little admirable, the second time. Back again after a disappointing end to the last race, this potential nominee shows resilience and determination in entering for round two. Former Sen. Rick Santorum is not one to shy away from adversity. He came in second place in 2012 to Mitt Romney for the Republican nomination. Passionate and articulate, Santorum is unwavering on his stances and doesn’t pander to party politics. His announcement in Cabot, Penn., near his childhood home was exemplary of his grassroots, traditional style and focus on the people. It’s the people, however, that he needs to win back this time around and convince that four years later, he’s the better guy.
THE OVERACHIEVER: I’s dotted and t’s crossed and definitely the first one to show up, the overachiever does everything in their power to up their chances. Texas Sen. Ted Cruz was the first major Republican to announce his candidacy, beating everyone else to it and cementing himself in voter’s minds as a viable candidate. Cruz, the son of a Cuban political prisoner, is a tea party conservative and an ivy-league educated candidate. His credentials look impressive and, coupled with his timeliness, make him stand out as a put together, serious candidate.
The GOP primary is starting to look a lot like sorority rush. in Red Alert Politics’s Hangs on LockerDome
