Name the most popular former Washington Redskin and you’ll get an argument over Sonny Jurgensen versus John Riggins with Art Monk and Darrell Green supporters chiming in.
But name the coolest Redskin ever and the argument ends at Riggo.
There’s a new contender, though. Someone that years from now everyone will fondly remember while he’s dining at his favorite boyhood restaurant Hansel and Gretel’s in Powell, Wyo., where the ham atop burgers alone prompts a return several times each offseason.
Tight end Chris Cooley is, well, the coolest Redskin since Riggins. He plays in fantasy football leagues, sports wild haircuts and been known to date a cheerleader or two.
Cooley’s even working on a mullet. After all, Riggo sported a mohawk. If David Spade with a mullet can be Joe Dirt, then Cooley can be Joe Cool.
“I’m going to let the back grow out down my back and have a Billy Ray Cyrus look,” Cooley said. “I had one when I was 10. It was a cool mullet. That’s when mullets were in. I was a Broncos fan and my mom let me spike my hair blue and gold with the mullet.”
Cooley is only slightly smiling over the tale because it’s true. Last year, he “borrowed” the Redskin Park groundskeeper’s riding mower to tear through the parking lot with the grin of a grade schooler finally tossing those training wheels.
Life is good when you’re in an offense now offering downfield opportunities by the dozens. But if there was no football, Cooley would probably be happy in his upstate Wyoming hometown where the population of 5,300 hasn’t grown in 25 years.
Hansel and Gretel’s is an old-style wooden eatery from the wall paneling to the tables where you just know the special of the day is elk or moose. There’s a Taco Bell and Pizza Hut down the street like most places in America. But how many towns also have a Shotgun Red’s?
“You can cruise up and down main street,” Cooley said. “I’m not going to tell you there’s a ton to do there when you’re 17. There was just a ton of outdoor stuff to do. Powell’s my hometown. I want to move back there. It’s what feels home to me.”
Then there’s fantasy football, where Cooley’s biggest problem is naming his teams. There was the “Redskins” and “Cooley’s Team” — real inspiring stuff. Cooley took Clinton Portis last year, but didn’t get Santana Moss or even himself.
“I lost in the playoffs last year because I had such a good game against Dallas against myself,” he said. “Throw the ball to me, man. I’d rather catch a touchdown in a real game than have my fantasy team win.”
But Cooley knows how his fantasy fans feel about individual performances. In fact, he hears from them all the time.
“A lot of fans are like ‘Hey, you’re starting on my team this week. Good luck. Have a good game,’ ” he said.
Cooley is a frustrated quarterback himself. He grew up hoping to become the next John Elway.
“I always wanted to be a quarterback. I still want to be a quarterback,” Cooley said. “It’s probably not going to work out that way.”
And then Cooley laughed at himself just like Riggo would have.
The coming season could be a real joyride. The Redskins have added two receivers, but the retooled offense under Al Saunders should keep Cooley busy. Maybe not as many catches as last year’s 71, but the yardage should increase.
“I think I’ll stretch the field a little more this year,” he said. “It’s a big change for me in terms of routes. Last year was a lot of quick kind of stuff. This year it’s all speed routes. No head fakes or weird steps. It’s all speed routes so run as fast as you can and the quarterback will put it there. I’ve never done that. I am excited.”
But fellow fantasy leaguers beware: Cooley’s more concerned with getting the Redskins to the playoffs than providing your postseason.
“I’d take 40 catches right now if we could win a Super Bowl,” he said. “I don’t care [about personal stats.]”
Riggo will certainly drink to that.
Rick Snider has covered local sports for 28 years. Contact him at [email protected].
