A new website named after the Democratic ticket, ClintonKaine.com, is working to inform voters about “Hillary Potter” and “Timotonous Kaine.”
The site, which was created by Washington, D.C.-based attorney Jeremy Pegg before Hillary Clinton selected Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine as her Democratic running mate, has grown rapidly in popularity among Internet users since the Friday announcement of Clinton’s decision.
In terms borrowed from the fictional Harry Potter series, the site explains in the form of a story, Kaine “would help Hillary Potter vanquish Don Marvolo Trump, known in popular parlance as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Elected.”
“Trump had to be stopped. He had won many followers already with his promise to erect a massive wall to keep muggles out, not to mention his advocacy for the surveillance and persecution of wizards who came from ‘impure’ wizarding backgrounds,” the story adds. “Now Hillary Potter and Timotonous Kaine were the only thing that stood between him and absolute dominance of the wizarding world.”
The story adds that Donald Trump’s choice of Indiana Gov. Mike Pence to run as vice president complicated the race for Clinton. “Though Hillary knew this was a battle she could win, it would not be easy. And now Trump had another asset: Mike Pent. Pent, whose wizarding career had been in a tailspin at that point, agreed to sign on as Trump’s lackey. Trump grafted the desperate wizard to the back of his head, and now Pent was guaranteed to be behind Trump at every turn, looking back at Trump’s followers and using his calming, conventional features and traditional background to reassure the conservative wizarding establishment that Trump was their man.
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“Hillary packed her wand, broom, and scar ointment and steeled herself for the long fight ahead of her,” the story says, and responded to Pence with her selection, “Timotonous Kaine from Hufflepuff. Yes, he was dull, and not particularly pleasing to the eye. But everybody seemed to agree … aside from Helga Hufflepuff herself, there had never been a Hufflepuff as ‘Hufflepuff’ as Timotonous Kaine. He was loyal and honest to a fault, and had been a major supporter of Hillary’s since the beginning of what had turned out to be a particularly tough year for her.
“Perhaps Kaine did have a sort of handsomeness to him, Hillary thought, as she mulled him over in her mind. Yes, she thought, his down-to-earth way of speaking and easy-going manner had helped him win a lot of friends, while avoiding ruffling any feathers. Perhaps she would go with the safe choice after all,” the story concludes.
Pegg, who also draws an online comic called “Feldman the Cat,” refers to himself as a “cybersquatter,” registering domains related to candidates before they announce their campaigns. Experts place the value of a domain name associated with a presidential ticket at approximately $20,000.
