Dim Bulb: Hugo Chavez

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Who: Hugo Chavez What: Venezuela’s socialist dictator blamed capitalism and imperialism for possibly destroying life on Mars in past age, in a speech he gave on World Water Day.

Why it’s dim: Hypothesizing about Martian economics won’t distract from Chavez’s attempts to hamstring Venezuelan citizens.

Cure: Privately cc such conspiracy theories to Michael Moore — he usually at least has a way of making money from them.