Most people come to accept their loved one?s demise much earlier than previously thought, according to a Yale University study.
The study indicates disbelief may not be the most prevalent, first reaction to losing a loved one.
The studyshows what practicing bereavement counselors have known for some time.
“People do have an acceptance, but it comes at different stages and levels,” said Carla Jackson, a counselor with the hospice program run by Greater Baltimore Medical Center.
“People know intellectually that someone is gone, and in a hospice setting they know it?s going to happen, but it still comes as a surprise.”
Greater Baltimore offers counseling to hospice members? families for up to 13 months after their loss, Jackson said.
Most grieving people acknowledged some sense of acceptance at all stages of grieving during a 24-month study by Yale researchers, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association this week.
The research confronted one of the longest-standing models of grieving, the stage theory first expressed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in studying people facing their own death.
The idea that grieving people progress through stages of disbelief ? yearning, anger and depression ? toward acceptance has become well known.
“Acceptance was the most frequently endorsed item, and yearning was the dominant negative grief indicator from one to 24 months post-loss,” according to the study.
“Acceptance increased steadily through the study observation period.”
As for the other stages, their findings did correlate.
“Disbelief decreased from an initial high at one month post-loss, yearning peaked at four months, anger peaked at five months, and depression peaked at six months,” the study reported.
It takes about four to five months to wrap up the business of losing a loved one, Jackson said.
Unfortunately, he said, that?s also about when letters and phone calls of support drop off, and the individual is left to confront the loss alone.
“It really starts to sink in with people that this is permanent. It really starts to hit them,” she said. “And that?s when people start to call in distress.”
