BRAIN FOOD
Commuters on an early-morning bus to the Pentagon engrossed themselves in the kind of reading material that made an Arlington man proud.
“Only in D.C.,” the man beamed as he and three neighboring passengers on the 187 thumbed through their copies of the Economist. “Nice to see.”
But not everyone was feeling so intellectual that morning. A woman quietly slipped a copy of Us Weekly into her purse, folded her hands and smiled. Making eye contact with other passengers, she blushed.
CARD READER
In downtown D.C. on Tuesday night, Chef Geoff’s drew a solid crowd of sports fans for the Major League Baseball All-Star Game — but nary a mind reader, despite some reports.
A Cleveland Park woman recently transplanted from the Kansas City, Mo., suburbs said she had been to a Royals game or two in her life but wasn’t much for the sport.
“You’re from Lenexa, right?” the bartender chimed in.
The woman blanched. “Yes!” she replied. “How did you know that?”
The bartender reminded the woman that he had, indeed, carded her.
NOT A POOPER SCOOPER
The middle-age woman with the tiny Shih Tzu hoped no one was looking.
As her canine squatted to relieve itself in north Capitol Hill, the woman looked left, then right, then left again. She then walked away, not bothering to take out a bag.
But a man yelled from across the street, “I know you’re not just going to leave that behind.”
Public ridicule wasn’t enough to stop the perpetrator, however, as she and the dog started running away.
SIMMERING, MAYBE, BUT NOT BOILING
Crossing Eastern Market’s flea market, a father was trailed by his two lethargic young daughters.
“Daddy, I’m boiling!” one of them complained.
“No, you aren’t boiling,” he replied.
“But it’s over 100 degrees. That’s boiling.”
To which Dad said, “That’s Celsius.”
His daughter was forced to accept his “scientific” reasoning and stopped complaining.
PROPOSAL FROM THE HEAT … AND HEART
A D.C. woman watched the temperature climb to 105 degrees Saturday, making it the hottest July 7 in the Washington area’s weather history. She stayed purposefully ensconced in air conditioning until her boyfriend said he wanted to take her to an event at the Library of Congress.
There, he popped the question.
She said yes, but later, “Really?! On the hottest day of the year?”
He tried to make the best of it. “I had to ask you on the hottest day because you’re the hottest girl!”
