I recently returned from my first visit to Las Vegas, and naturally I was charmed by the various location-themed resorts: New York, New York; Paris, Las Vegas; The Venetian; and many more, with their outlandish designs and so-tacky-it’s-good approach to décor and entertainment. Yet I couldn’t help but wonder: Why not a hotel devoted to my kind of hometown? After all, if travelers enjoy the security of lunching at McDonalds in the shadow of the Pyramids or patronizing the Hard Rock Café in Beirut, surely they’ll enjoy my proposal: the Suburban.

Here’s my pitch:

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