Former House Speaker John Boehner’s claim that Ted Cruz is “Lucifer in the flesh” has prompted a few newsrooms to ask whether the Texas senator is in need of an exorcism or if he is, in fact, the Lord of Darkness.
“An exorcist told us how to rid Ted Cruz of Lucifer, just in case John Boehner is right,” read the headline to a Washington Post article authored by Philip Bump.
The Huffington Post’s Sam Stein published an article of his own on the same topic, headlined, “Is Ted Cruz ‘Lucifer In The Flesh’? We Asked A Satanist.”
The two articles came after Boehner quipped Wednesday evening at an event in Stanford University that he hated working with Cruz. “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone,” he added, “but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”
Putting aside the “miserable” bit, the two reporters took a closer look Thursday at the claim that Cruz is the Father of Lies.
“I wondered what would actually happen if a member of Congress — or, should a lot of cards come up in Cruz’s favor, the president of the United States — were literally possessed by Satan,” wrote Bump.
In answering the question of what would happen should a member of Congress find himself in the service of the King of the Bottomless Pit, Bump reached out to Pastor Bob Larson, an exorcist.
“I would treat him no differently than I would treat anyone else,” Larson told the Post.
One should determine first whether the problem is not simply a mental issue, he explained. If it goes beyond that, then he would examine why that person might be possessed.
From there, the pastor went on to detail the steps taken in the process of casting out demons.
Bump then asked Larson what would happen if Cruz was actually possessed by the Son of Perdition.
“I’m not going to take a political stance and say vote for Trump or Hillary,” the pastor answered with a laugh. “I’d say, pray for the man. Pray that he will come to that realization.
“And pray that he doesn’t get the nomination, if that’s the case,” he added.
Over at the Huffington Post, Stein took a slightly different route and asked not if Cruz was merely possessed, but whether the Texas lawmaker was the devil himself.
“Is Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) actually Lucifer?” Stein asked. “Is there, indeed, something satanic to the senator? Do Republicans in Congress see the dark threads of Luciferianism in their colleague from Texas?”
Like Bump, Stein reached out to an expert on the issue: Satanic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves.
“It is past time we stop blaming the activities of the upholders of the Christian faith on a Satanic philosophy,” Greaves said, explaining that you can’t blame the King of Serpents for Cruz’s brand of Christianity. “Boehner is trying to convey that if it is bad and he disagrees with it, it is of Satan and Lucifer, and if it is of good, it is of Christ. That is what is problematic with the Christian ideology.
“I don’t think Boehner is necessarily saying that he actually thinks Cruz is a Satanist because I just don’t think he is thinking that hard about the issues,” he added. “These are simple-minded people. Our situation in U.S. politics is much worse than you can imagine.”
And just for good measure, Greaves made sure to add that he hates Cruz.
“I think he is a real disaster. I think he is possibly one of the worst. I think we have been on a race to the bottom for a long time now, and you keep thinking it can’t get worse and people would wise up after a clown like [Sarah] Palin or George Bush. But then you see people lining up around Ted Cruz,” he told the Huffington Post.
