Wedding crashers
A South Carolina boater was arrested after he waved his private parts at a wedding, police said.
Downing Deese, 26, was in a boat when he yanked down his swimsuit and exposed himself to a wedding taking place on the river bank.
The father of the bride told the judge at a hearing he had just walked his daughter down the aisle when Reese ruined her wedding day.
“They were exchanging vows and we had the disgusting experience observing this individual try to destroy our wedding,” he said.
According to police, Deese said the mere fact there was a wedding gave him the motivation to expose himself.
Hamburglar helper
A McDonald’s restaurant manager in Texas who was accused of embezzling $67,000 used a fake doctor’s note to try to get away with it.
When the owner confronted Germaine Hodge about the missing deposits, the manager provided bogus receipts. He later quit, saying he’d been diagnosed with cancer. As proof, he provided a doctor’s note, which stated he needed to start radiation therapy immediately.
The doctor’s note was from an obstetrician/gynecologist. The phone number provided for the physician belonged to Hodge.
Hodge 32, remained in jail on a charge of misapplication of fiduciary property.
Catching air
A car crashed into an auto dealership when the driver took a whiff from a can of compressed air and passed out.
Passenger Ryan Dale said his friend pulled out an air duster, a spray can designed to clean keyboards and computers.
“He hits it and I go, ‘No, no, no, not in the car,'” Dale said. “Then he’s like, ‘I don’t care,’ you know, and he passes out and he’s gradually getting speed of about 60 to 65 miles per hour.”
The car jumped the median, crashed into the dealership garage, and damaged two other cars.
Dale said he’s learned a lesson: “Don’t ever do air duster while driving.”
Naked as a jail bird
Iowa City police say they were able to track down a drunken driver who struck a street sign, thanks in part to his clothing choices. As in, he was naked.
Police found the damaged car but the driver was gone. Police say they found the man, still naked, outside his neighbor’s apartment.
The 20-year-old had a blood-alcohol content of .189 percent, twice the legal limit.
— Compiled by Scott McCabe
