U.S. Naval Academy Midshipman Michael Pollard Jr.’s “terrible secret” of having a child pornography collection has cost him his Navy career, family’s tradition and possibly future relationships.

“I tried to quit on my own … but I couldn’t go to people in the academy for help, because I was afraid they would prosecute me,” said Pollard, 23, during his court-martial Tuesday at the Washington Navy Yard, where he pleaded guilty to possessing more than 1,000 images of child pornography.