JOHN KERRY BORE A GOOD deal of mockery for his sports gaffes during the 2004 campaign. First he botched the details of Bill Buckner’s famous ’86 World Series error–after claiming to have been at the game. Then the Boston native praised Red Sox all-star “Manny Ortez” (he pronounced the surname Or-TEZZ)–apparently confusing Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz (pronounced Or-TEEZ). Finally, the coup de grâce: Kerry trekked to Green Bay and extolled the glory of Packer football at “Lambert”–instead of Lambeau–Field.
Now, I’m a sports fan–a big one. And the relatively few sports-junkie politicians out there tend to be my kind. But it’s hardly criminal for a pol not to follow sports. Bob Dole, a stellar athlete in his own day, didn’t, and he never pretended otherwise. It’s the fake fans who irk me. Phony fandom can be a sign of a broader phoniness.
That was the rationale behind Football Fans for Truth, a pro-Bush 527 that sprang into action last fall. Among other things, the truth-hungry Fans publicized Kerry’s “Lambert Field” blunder and jeered his less-than-artful throwing style (as evidenced by an opening pitch at Fenway that failed to reach home plate and an awkward pigskin toss on the campaign trail). “He is not fit to be our sports-fan-in-chief,” said director Jeff Larroca.
The Fans’ little campaign was a smashing success. At least they thought so. As their website proudly proclaims: “Football Fans for Truth notified the world that John Kerry throws like a girl.”
Perhaps he does. But let’s give Kerry a break. He was hardly the first aspiring politician to feign an enthusiasm for sports in order to cast himself as the Average-Joe candidate. Public figures, especially rich Boston Brahmins, naturally crave the sort of regular-guy street cred they think they can get from talking sports.
Truth is, the ranks of sports fans and politicians don’t much overlap. Sports fans pledge their loyalty to a group of athletes they’ve never met. In some cases, they endure decades of heartbreak and near misses without going wobbly. They pour money and emotion into a venture utterly detached from personal expediency.
That’s asking a lot of your typical Washington pol. Politics is a give and take. It often pivots on shrewd estimates of self-interest. Perhaps the most frequent calculation inside the Beltway is, “What’s in it for me?” The logic of politics just doesn’t align with the selfless zealotry of sports fandom.
Of course, that doesn’t stop pols and lobbyists from occasionally flying their I’m-a-sports-nut-too flags. This baseball season, for example, we’ll see boatloads of Beltway types travel to RFK Stadium to cheer on the Nationals. But most won’t be there for the peanuts, Cracker Jack, and 6-4-3 double plays. They’ll be there to be seen.
For Washington VIPs, dropping by a Nats game serves a dual purpose. It implicitly affirms one’s status as a member of the Beltway elite, and it cloaks one in populist garments. After all, the bulk of the crowd at a baseball game consists of normal people. And mixing with “just plain folk” can humanize a politician.
This is not to say a bona fide love of politics never goes along with a real love of sports. Richard Nixon ardently followed baseball and the Redskins. Bill Clinton enjoyed college hoops. George W. Bush gets on famously with ballplayers and once owned the Texas Rangers. (And he was watching the NFL playoffs when he choked on that roguish pretzel.) For that matter, a handful of big-time athletes–including Gerald Ford, Jack Kemp, Jim Bunning, Bill Bradley, Steve Largent, and J.C. Watts–went on to distinguished political careers.
But the list of politicians who really qualify as sports fanatics is short. The list of pols who suddenly morph into born-again sports addicts when the time is ripe is far longer.
I’d rather they all took George W. Bush’s example. During the 2002 World Cup, the president called U.S. soccer coach Bruce Arena to wish him luck before a big match against Mexico. “The country is really proud of the team,” Bush said. “A lot of people that don’t know anything about soccer, like me, are all excited and pulling for you.”
I always felt that anecdote spoke volumes about Dubya’s general lack of pretense. And despite his being a soccer novice, I think Bush is eminently fit to serve as our sports-fan-in-chief.
–Duncan Currie
