“Drillbit Taylor” is a dull bit of strained comedy.
Mistakenly, due to the talent involved, expectations were elevated. Its lately lionized executive producer Judd Apatow and co-screenwriter Seth Rogan gave us last year’s raunchy hoots “Knocked Up” and “Superbad.”
Unfortunately, the director of today’s lesser light in the Apatow firmament is the hack Steven Brill. He was responsible for “Mr. Deeds” and “Little Nicky,” two of the worst Adam Sandler movies (and that’s saying something).
Not surprisingly, Brill fails to make hay out of “Drillbit’s” banality-laden script about the oft-examined conflict between high school nerds and bullies, written by Rogan with Kristofor Brown (of “Beevis and Butt-Head” infamy). It doesn’t get much oomph from the presence of Owen Wilson in the title role either, as a would-be bodyguard-for-hire to a trio of harassed weaklings. He plays a mere rehash of his familiar hedonistic rascal persona, previously delivered with more edge in both “Wedding Crashers” and “You, Me and Dupree.”
Poor Owen, he often gets to be the scene-stealing clown. Here, though, he must compete for that position with a kitschy, goofy-looking kid ensemble. This adolescent threesome exactly imitates the character template from “Superbad,” though the geeky high school buddies in “Drillbit” are new arriving freshmen instead of just-graduating seniors.
Ryan (Troy Gentile) is the smart-aleck fat one. Wade (Nate Hartley) is the quiet, smitten, painfully skinny one. Emmit (David Dorfman) is the shrimpy, nasal, super-mega nerdiest one of the bunch, only barely tolerated by the other two (just like McLovin!).
The simple-minded plot knowingly rips off 1980’s coming-of-age standard “My Bodyguard,” as a brief cameo here by its star, Adam Baldwin, attests. The attempt, though, is to boost that concept by making the victims’ defender a homeless con man with a dubious military past named Drillbit Taylor who may or may not have the boys’ best interest at heart.
This bodyguard poses as a substitute teacher to protect them from the sadistic school bully Filkins (played with effective menace by Alex Frost). Meanwhile, Drillbit is also romancing a lovelorn single teacher (played by Apatow’s wife/cast regular Leslie Mann) and planning with his homeless pals to bilk the boys out of money and valuable merchandise.
Does Drillbit turn out to be a good guy or a bad one?
I didn’t care. And I didn’t laugh.
Say what you want about the very smutty “Superbad”; it was hilarious. Apatow’s attempt to tamp down his humor for a wider PG-13 audience leaves us with a just a bland series of cheaply farcical face-punching and crotch-kicks, geek ridicule and tired Owen Wilson shtick. It’s “Taylor” made for no one.
‘Drillbit Taylor’
Two Stars
» Starring: Owen Wilson,
Leslie Mann
» Director: Steven Brill
» Rated PG-13 for crude sexual references throughout, strong bullying, language, drug references and partial nudity
» Running time: 102 minutes
