What are parents thinking? Actually, that?s both a stupid question and undeserved compliment. Clearly, some of them aren?t thinking at all.
I took my children to the zoo last week where I saw two girls around 5 years old ? from two separate families ? running barefoot.
Beyond the obvious dangers of having little feet smashed by hordes of hefty tourists or sliced open by an errant piece of trash, I might add this is the National Zoo in D.C., which has a rat problem so severe that two red pandas accidentally died from excess rat poison a while ago.
In other words, these barefoot babes weren?t skipping through pristine meadows.
The families didn?t look as if they?d just arrived from the hills or some far-flung culture where footwear is inappropriate for those younger than 12, and, from the amount of electronics they carried, I?m pretty sure they could afford children?s shoes.
So I?m forced to conclude that the children just didn?t want to wear shoes, and the parents gave in. I was grossed out, but not surprised.
Evidence abounds that kids dressing inappropriately is a major national trend.
In the past year, I have observed children, all younger than the age of 10, wearing black goth attire, complete with studded leather wristbands; mohawks, miniature gang-banger ensembles; Paris Hilton-style high-heel mules and halter tops, and T-shirts with every possible vulgar saying.
In a Wendy?s in West Virginia, I waited in line behind a family of three boys, the oldest no more than 8, all with pierced ears and long rat tails, dressed in head-to-toe black and camouflage.
Unlike going barefoot, which is a natural (if not always wise) child desire, these children probably are too young to want to “express themselves” with tarty, goth or gangsta styles, so I have to think that their parents are expressing themselves, which frankly makes me shudder.
This is even creepier than the little old ladies who dress their Pomeranians in Burberry and tiny wellies.
After all, a Pomeranian can always bite you and pee on the rug to assert a little natural dignity. These children are pretty much helpless hostages to their parents? vision of cool.
And I say to those parents, if you have an inner desire to look like (pre-baby) Britney, Nelly or a psycho redneck survivalist, knock yourselves out.
But if you feel that something ? your age, your love handles, your boss ? is preventing you from living your image dream, please, please, please, don?t take it out on your children.
Now I?m sure some parents reading this will say “Hey, that?s not true! My kid wanted that earring and mohawk!”
Which might make sense for a high school junior, but not a child just out of kindergarten.
A lot of 6-year-olds “want” to drive the family car, stay up all night, live exclusively on Skittles and never go to school.
It is a parent?s job to tell them no.
Other parents will probably say, “The other kids think my kid looks really, really cool!”
Could you be any more pathetic? If you need that much positive reinforcement from grade schoolers, maybe you have some issues to work out.
And be advised that other parents will not find a goth 8-year-old cool, they will find him scary.
And they are the ones who make the playdates and approve friends.
Sometimes, being a parent means you have to be a hopelessly uncool authority figure who sets boundaries.
The morning of the trip to the zoo, my 13-year-old wanted to wear a cute little top and little sports shorts. Way too little, in my opinion.
“More clothes,” I said, pointing her back upstairs.
If you don?t have the judgment and guts to veto bad fashion ideas ? either your child?s or your own ? perhaps you should opt for a Pomeranian instead of parenthood.
But don?t be surprised if it bites you.
Melanie Howard is a freelance writer living in Virginia and a National Magazine Award finalist published in Glamour, SELF, CHILD, Seventeen, Family Circle and other national magazines. Her columns also run regularly in the Waterbury, Conn., Republican-American and have been published in the Alexandria Times. She can be reached at [email protected]
