Everyone’s got a tell

Another way she pronounces it is with an elongated finish. It still sounds New Yorky, but it’s a little more drawn out: “Buh-kizzzz.” As in: “I didn’t return your call buh-kizzzz I just this moment got the message.”

She has two ways to pronounce the same word, which is a quirk I’ve never noticed in anyone else. At first I thought it was just a New York thing. I’m not from New York, so I usually pronounce the word “because” this way: because.

I spent a few years being baffled by this — why two different ways, and what could this mean — until I started to listen more closely.

And when I really listened, what I discovered was this: When she pronounces it be-coss, with the short and clipped ending, it’s always when she’s declaring an easily verifiable and true statement. “I’m Fed-Ex’ing you the papers today be-coss you need to sign them tomorrow.” “I spoke to the producers today be-coss I’m optimistic about this project.”

When she takes a little longer to say the word and stretches it out, she’s not so sure of herself. Maybe she’s hoping that some really convincing lie will come to her in the second or two it takes to finish saying the word. “I haven’t spoken with my client about this project yet buh-kizzzz of the whole situation right now with the uncertainty around the COVID issue.” “You’re going to have to offer my client a lot more money to do this project buh-kizzzz there’s a lot of interest in him to play a Marvel superhero.”

In other words, when she says be-coss, it means she knows what’s she’s talking about, and when she says buh-kizzzz, she’s lying and stalling for time. Poker players call this a “tell.”

It took me a long time to discover her tell because I try, if possible, never to listen to people too closely. But the lesson here is that the more you pay attention, the smarter you get. The minute I figured this out, our business interactions became much more efficient, and I often found myself on the winning side when the two of us wrangled over contractual details.

“Get out if he starts to itch,” someone told me once when I was walking into a meeting with a network president. That was his tell: When he got itchy, it meant he was becoming bored or frustrated. And so the moment I sensed even the barest whisper of itchiness on the part of the executive, I would quickly wind up the meeting: “And that’s our show,” I would say and immediately head for the door.

All poker players say the same thing: Everyone’s got a tell. The trick is to find it. Finding out what people do when they’re stalling for time, have no idea what they’re about to say next, or want you to get out of their office is, in general, a good strategy for navigating the struggles of life and business.

Here’s what I say when I don’t know what to say next. When someone asks me about the plot details of a script I’m working on or to explain what’s happening in the media business or even a question of a more personal nature, I always answer the same way.

I look pensive, and then I say, “I see three big things happening.” Or sometimes, “There are three big things to look for.” The key is that it’s always three. “There are three ways to solve this,” I’ll say. Or: “There are three things I want you to know.”

It goes without saying that I have no idea what big things will be happening or what you should look for or what the solutions might be or what I want you to know. But if I say “three things,” it signals, like buh-kizzzz, that there are answers and things and solutions and that I know at least three of them.

The Three Things preamble gives me time to think of one thing, and when I’m saying that one thing, I can think of another.

The third, if you listen carefully, is just the first thing again restated more emphatically.

No one ever notices this be-coss in general because we don’t listen to each other very closely.

Rob Long is a television writer and producer and the co-founder of Ricochet.com.