Campaigns and cocktails used to go hand in hand. Indeed, the first description of a cocktail came in the context of a contest for the New York state legislature. “Rum! Rum! Rum!” shouted a headline in the Hudson Balance and Columbian Repository in May 1806.
The journalism of the day was partisan enough to make the MSNBC crowd look like Brian Lamb. The Balance and Columbian Repository was a Federalist paper, and editor Harry Croswell liked nothing better than to taunt Thomas Jefferson’s Democrats. Well, that’s not exactly true: There was one thing Croswell liked better than making fun of Democrats, and that was to make fun of Jefferson himself. And if there was something scandalous to report about Jefferson, Croswell was not one to get squeamish. If there had been laptops in the early 19th century, you can be sure Croswell would have acquainted himself with every myopic computer repair shop owner he could find.
But I digress. Under that “Rum! Rum! Rum!” banner ran this report of the recent local electioneering: “It is conjectured that the price of this precious liquor will soon rise at Claverack.” A candidate, aiming to ingratiate himself with the voters, had plied them with 720 rum grogs, 204 brandies, 32 gin slings, 411 tots of bitters, and 300 cocktails.
The cocktails were a novelty, a new sort of drink — “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.” It made for “an excellent electioneering potion,” Croswell wrote, “as it renders the heart stout and bold, at the same time that it fuddles the head.”
Cocktails, Croswell wrote in a snarky kicker, are “said also to be of great use to a democratic candidate because, a person having swallowed a glass of it, is ready to swallow anything else.”
Buying votes with booze was a commonplace practice engaged in by no less than the father of our country. A young George Washington skimped on the liquor when he first campaigned for the Virginia House of Burgesses. It was a mistake he didn’t make twice. Good government types would later insist not only that candidates forgo “swilling the planters with bumbo” but also that bars be closed altogether on Election Day. Now that elections stretch over months, with early voting and mail-in ballots, that restriction would be awfully hard to enforce.
Back when people had a sense of humor about such things, political enthusiasts would promote their favorite candidates by creating cocktails in their honor.
With election night approaching, I have taken the liberty of creating two new cocktails, one to celebrate Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, the other to celebrate President Trump. You can cast a vote for your favorite by mixing up the corresponding cocktails to enjoy as the results come stumbling in.
Delaware being a beachy state, I’ve made a beach-friendly drink for Biden: a Collins, which is basically a lemonade with liquor. In a tall glass with ice, combine an ounce of sloe gin, an ounce of gin, the juice of half a lemon, and either a half-ounce of simple syrup or a tablespoon of sugar. Top it off with soda water, and stir gently. Since this is a Collins with sloe gin, I have named it the “Sloe Joe Collins.”
For fans of the incumbent, I have created a drink called the “Tiny Tower of Trump.” You’ll need a small, narrow “chimney” glass. Shake one ounce tequila, one ounce Aperol, the juice of half a lemon, and a half-ounce of simple syrup with ice. Strain into the small chimney glass. Then here’s the most important part: Take the half of lemon that was squeezed and flatten it out. Cut a fringe around the edges of the peel, and place it on top of the glass as a sort of hairdo garnish.
Whatever cocktail you choose, be sure to pace yourself. It promises to be a long night.
Eric Felten is the James Beard Award-winning author of How’s Your Drink?
