I recently reminisced with my friend and team leader Sgt. Matt Peterson about a time we robbed some dangerous thieves.
Our squad, in two armored Humvees on a flat dirt tire track road in western Afghanistan, approached a rocky hill. There stood an Afghan man who lowered a metal rod across the road to stop vehicles. Anyone could’ve easily driven around the rod, save for the man’s AK-47.
2nd Lt. Erickson radioed the second Humvee. “We have an illegal checkpoint.”
Spc. Hanson was up in the lead Humvee’s gun turret. “Armed guys on the hill.”
The robber raised the rod and waved the Americans through. The Humvees stopped, the two turret gunners aimed their machine guns up the hill, and the other soldiers dismounted.
The squad routinely practiced the “smile and wave” drill. No need to turn a situation into a firefight. An Afghan who smiled and waved back had at least one hand off his weapon.
Peterson, Erickson, Sgt. Beckmann, and the Afghan interpreter we called Hollywood cheerfully approached the robber. “What’s going on, buddy?”
“We’re here to prevent theft,” said the robber.
The Americans smiled and nodded. “Oh, thanks for the help!” Erickson said through Hollywood. “Who’s on the hill?”
The robber looked nervous. “They’re for safety.”
“Yes!” Peterson beamed. “Gotta be careful with criminals all around. We should take them some food for working so hard keeping security!”
“Oh no. It’s fine.” The robber radioed up the hill, explaining the situation. Hollywood borrowed the radio, warmly greeting the overwatch men.
Peterson and Beckmann grabbed two cases of MREs. The road robber seemed happy about this.
Erickson spoke to the machine gunners. “We’re going up there. If they attack, you guys light up the hill whether we’re up there or not.”
The three Americans and Hollywood smiled and laughed on the climb. “We’re joyful and happy. We pose no threat to these scumbags!” Up on the hill, they shook hands and patted the robbers on the back, acting like old friends.
The overwatch robbers had two rocket-propelled grenade launchers with three rounds, a mortar tube with rounds, a heavy machine gun, and several AK-47s. A bad situation.
“You guys are great.” Peterson grinned. “We appreciate your help.”
“You ever have MREs?” asked Beckmann. “They’re great! We’ve removed all the pork, so don’t worry. They come with a heater! It’s like magic!”
Soon, the robbers stuffed their faces, having a great time. Burritos. Beef stew. Crackers. Candy. They giggled like school girls.
“Fellas, do you have paperwork for these weapons systems?” Erickson asked cheerfully.
“Our commander has it,” one robber replied.
Erickson laughed. “We’re big Second Amendment guys, so keep your rifles, but these other weapons wouldn’t even be allowed in Idaho, our gun-shaped state. If Idaho doesn’t allow it, you don’t need it!”
Erickson grabbed an RPG launcher and two rounds, slinging the machine gun. Beckmann nabbed the mortar tube and its rounds. Peterson secured the other RPG and two extra AK-47s. They started down the hill.
“Our commander will be mad,” said one robber.
“We’ll give your guy a receipt. Have your commander bring the paperwork to our base to get the weapons back. When you visit, we’ll have more MREs!”
The robbers tried to protest.
“No, don’t bother getting up,” said Erickson. “Enjoy the food.” Hollywood translated. To his own guys, Erickson added, “I hope we don’t get shot in the back.”
Below, they handed a receipt and more MREs to the road robber and waved to the overwatch men, who waved back sadly, having been tricked out of their advantage. It could have been a bloody gun battle, but instead, the robbers were robbed of their illegal heavy weapons with smiles, field rations, and a whole lot of courage from some of the best men I ever knew.
*Some names and call signs in this story may have been changed due to operational security or privacy concerns. Trent Reedy served as a combat engineer in the Iowa National Guard from 1999 to 2005, including a tour of duty in Afghanistan.
