Off hours, The Scrapbook has been dealing, like many everyday Americans, with the sort of problem that admits of no governmental solution: namely, a leaky basement. But just because government has nothing to offer by way of solutions (at least not yet!) doesn’t mean that it’s ignoring what we’re up to.
So what should be a relatively simple agreement between The Scrapbook and its contractor of course comes larded with fine print having to do with bonding, pulling the proper permits, and, the real point of this little story, assurances that gas lines and water mains won’t be disturbed. That last commitment requires the contractor to coordinate with local utilities. Different localities have different ways of doing this. Where The Scrapbook hangs its fedora, in Northern Virginia, there is a number to call, familiarly known as Miss Utility. (Get it? They send someone to put out little flags, so that when the workers start digging, they will “miss” hitting the gas and water and sewer pipes.) Only, in this case, the contractor has promised, “We will have public utilities marked by calling Ms. Utility.”
Two possibilities, and we’re not sure which is worse: Either computers are now auto-correcting every instance of Miss to Ms., or some social justice warrior didn’t understand the dual meaning of the word miss.
