Sometimes even The Scrapbook is mystified by certain rituals of modern American politics. Take celebrity congressional testimony, for example. Here is a photograph of Dame Helen Mirren, the British actress, taken in Washington last week. She is taking an oath not because she was being sworn into office or was a witness at somebody’s trial; she was taking an oath—to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth—before testifying at a Senate committee hearing on pending legislation.
The bipartisan bill in question is a measure that would sweep away certain legal barriers encountered by families whose art was stolen by the Germans during World War II. This is a serious matter, of course, and the bill deserves serious consideration. But Dame Helen was invited by Schumer to testify not because her family’s artifacts had once been looted but because last year she played a woman whose family’s paintings had been looted, in a movie entitled Woman in Gold.
To be sure, Dame Helen said all the right things to the committee—”Art restitution . . . is a moral imperative”—but her testimony distracted The Scrapbook from the subject at hand and reminded us of the memorable occasion, in 1985, when then-Rep. Tom Daschle invited four actresses who had played farm wives in movies—Jane Fonda, Sissy Spacek, Jessica Lange, and Sally Field—to testify before the Democratic members of a House committee on Capitol Hill about the future of family farms.
The event was much derided at the time, and with good reason; but the idea stuck. Now, hardly a week goes by that some screen favorite isn’t in town to testify before Congress about some political issue or pending bill. (George Clooney seems particularly ubiquitous.) There is even a name for such people: Cause Celeb.
Needless to say, after Dame Helen finished reading (under oath) her prepared text, she was peppered with questions from senators—not about Nazi cultural crimes but about her screen career. Sen. Ted Cruz was especially complimentary about her Oscar-winning performance as Elizabeth II in The Queen (2006).
Which gives The Scrapbook an idea. This year, many Americans have expressed dismay about a political system that leaves presidential voters with a (presumptive) choice of Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. It has even been suggested, in certain quarters, that the whole American experiment in independence may have been a terrible error, and that direct rule from Whitehall—such as we enjoyed before 1776—would never have left us vulnerable to Clinton or Trump.
Who better to testify before Congress about all this than George III’s successor, the ultimate celebrity, the genuine Queen Elizabeth II—and not some Hollywood facsimile? Her Majesty might well be amused to visit Washington and skip the state dinner in favor of a trenchant statement and some lively repartee with senators and congressmen on Capitol Hill. The Scrapbook looks forward to the administering of the oath.
