Hillary Clinton last week secured the number of delegates necessary to win the Democratic presidential nomination, and then she gave a speech. Did you know that she is the first woman to win the nomination of a major American party for president, and that this is a historic occasion? Fortunately, Clinton gave a speech in Brooklyn to remind us—repeatedly—of this fact.
However, for such a feminist triumph we can’t help but note that the most appropriate adjective for her speech might be “flaccid.” It was a stringing together of artless, by-the-numbers sound bites, delivered with what her opponent is fond of characterizing as “low energy.”
Again, Clinton strained throughout the speech to put her victory in a historic context as if her achievement were the divinely ordained culmination of America’s illustrious women’s rights movement, at one point even noting that her mother was born the day that the 19th Amendment was passed. Aside from being a coincidence, we’re pretty sure that Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton would at best have had mixed feelings about the possible first female president of the United States owing that opportunity to marrying a president who repeatedly humiliated her, leaving her to knuckle under and work to destroy the reputation of women who accused him of rape and sexual assault so she could keep climbing the rungs of power. But hey, you go, gurl!
As for the speech itself, The Scrapbook has long been of the opinion that speechwriting is a dying art. Sure, they can’t all be the Gettysburg Address, but Clinton’s speechwriters should be rounded up and returned to their cubicles at the greeting card company whence they came.
There were strained attempts at lightheartedness: “It may be hard to see tonight, but we are all standing under a glass ceiling right now. But don’t worry, we’re not smashing this one.” Then there were the hackneyed exercises in repetition: “cooperation is better than conflict, unity is better than division, empowerment is better than resentment, and bridges are better than walls.” Somehow, she even managed to make a completely unfair attack on Donald Trump, saying he had “attacked the press for asking tough questions” when maybe the one unequivocally positive thing you can say about the man is that he’s extremely accommodating to the press. By contrast, Clinton has hardly done a press conference in six months.
And naturally, there was the sub-Churchillian attempt at a rousing conclusion: “The end of the primaries is only the beginning of the work we’re called to do. But if we stand together, we will rise together, because we are stronger together. Let’s go out and make that case to America.” The close of the speech reminded The Scrapbook of the time Simpsons writers mocked Bill Clinton’s speeches: “Tonight, I say we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!”
Finally, we’re sympathetic to the notion that there’s a double standard for male and female leaders when it comes to appearance. But it’s understandable that eyebrows were raised over Mrs. Clinton’s Armani jacket, which retails for a mere $12,495. If you’re going to lament a lack of economic opportunity and Wall Street’s greed, maybe you’d have more credibility if the frock you’re wearing isn’t worth what most Americans could use for a down payment on a new home. It’s the kind of ostentatious display that one normally associates with a certain New York real estate mogul.
