Bipartisanship is not dead! Congressmen Tom Lantos (a D from CA) and Jon D. Fox (an R from PA) have joined hands across the aisle to battle the scourge of . . . pet theft? Yes: Congress has finally decided to take this bull by the horns and consider the Family Pet Protection Act.
The bill, says Fox in a press release, is “an attempt to stop the illegal act of pet theft” through educational efforts and (of course) regulation. Apparently we’ve got an epidemic of Rover-robbing and Fluffy-filching going on in this great country, and Democrats and Republicans alike mean to end the conspiracy of silence and lift the veil of shame. The bill itself may be unstoppable. As Fox points out, it is both “anti-crime” and “pro-pet.” You might even say it kills two birds with one stone. Then again you might not.
We note that the Doris Day Animal League is supporting the legislation, which means that the celebrity train is about to leave the station. This in turn means that we may soon have a full-blown national crusade on our hands. Expect to see pictures of missing, slobbering pooches on the side of Dog Chow bags, poignant portraits of vanished Burmese peeking out from the package of kitty litter. IT’S TEN O’CLOCK: DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR SCHNAUZER IS? Press conferences, telethons, benefit concerts, front-page tear-jerkers in the Washington Post. And, of course, congressional hearings. Maybe Sting or Meryl Streep will testify, along with Eddie from Frasier!
