“You know you’re absolutely gonna be gay when . . . your third-grade teacher asks you for decorating tips.”
“You know you’re gay when . . . a big bearded two-stepper makes you feel like Patsy Cline at the junior prom.”
“You know you’re gay when . . . you’d gladly trade in all your Louis Vuitton to play Norma Desmond.”
Surely these cracks these grotesque caricatures, these outrageous defamations of the good name of gays everywhere are the work of some raging homophobe, someone deserving of a picket, an ACT-UP demonstration, a rumored outing. Sorry — they come from a bizarre little book especially written and designed to serve as a stocking stuffer for the homosexual male in your life. You Know You’re Gay When . . ., published by Contemporary Books, is part of the new gay publishing craze. And its release indicates one thing: When it comes to jokes about limp wrists, interior decoration, Broadway musicals, and Garland mere et fille (nom: Minnelli), Pat Buchanan could say nothing more stereotypical about homosexuals than the gay community itself.
