Dawn Eden is no shrinking violet. “I’ve got just a tad of the exhibitionist in me,” the former rock journalist turned Catholic convert recently told the National Review Online — and with the launch of her new book, “The Thrill of the Chaste,” Eden does nothing short of baring her soul.
“The Thrill of the Chaste” translates Eden’s heart-on-her-sleeve candor into an intimate confessional where nothing is off the table: private sexual fantasies, self-gratification, personal insecurities, various cringe-worthy moments (one involves dressing up like Cher, but not as a prank) and — get ready — “desperately longing for a man from the depths of your loins.”
Eden’s eyebrow-raising candor, however, also translates into an important book that chronicles the havoc casual sex can wreak on women’s psyches and souls. “The Thrill of the Chaste” recounts Eden’s journey from promiscuity to chastity. “In a vicious cycle,” she writes, “single women feel lonely because they are not loved, so they have casual sex with men who do not love them. That was my life.”
No-strings-attached sex, Eden argues, isn’t “empowering,” but enslaving. Many women, whether they would admit the reason for it or not, have witnessed this firsthand: an angst-filled teenage daughter, the obsessed sorority sister who could star in a remake of “Fatal Attraction”, the nervous wreck of a friend still waiting for that call back after a one-night stand.
A few sections of “Thrill” falter, including a drive-by assault on innocent footwear (a wearer of high heels “clearly positions herself as an object,” Eden writes), and, for cold-hearted “Freud is bunk” readers (i.e., me), a few too many passages lamenting a distant father. In addition to a few other quibbles, it is not generally advised, as Eden once did, to mention marriage on the first date. I don’t care who you are — this is all but guaranteed to send even the most earnest of suitors scrambling for the fire exits.
Ultimately, “The Thrill of the Chaste,” which is billed as a “sexual revolution,” isn’t really about sex at all. It’s about letting go, getting faith and following God. Eden defends and details her chastity throughout the book, but the more powerful drama behind the scenes is always clear: her conversion and dramatic life change. The story behind her conversion never quite gets spelled out, and it’s a significant omission.
Eden’s prescription for longing human hearts is God, which, unfortunately, might make “The Thrill of the Chaste” harder to swallow for some. Previous best-selling dating manuals, including the infamous hard-to-get bible, “The Rules,” capitalized on human self-interest—power, self-respect, control. While Eden touches on elements of this, notably arguing that premarital sex hurts women’s chances of meeting their perfect match, her overall message (“Give it up to God”) is a far greater challenge than limiting phone calls with a timer or wearing lipstick when you go jogging (two classic “Rules” gems).
Hopefully, Eden’s message will make it beyond preaching to the choir. Already, Radar reporter Peter Hyman has flirted with Eden in type (and personally offered to help break her vow of chastity). The New York Times, lo and behold, covered the book in a balanced, if tepid, review. Even the merciless gossip Web site Gawker, which has christened Eden “everyone’s second-favorite scary conservative Catholic after Mel Gibson,” just can’t seem to stop posting about her.
Eden’s sense of humor shines through in her writing, so perhaps they’re developing a bit of a crush — or, as Eden might put it, maybe they’re already thrilled by the chaste.
Heather Wilhelm is a writer based in Chicago.
