They are queasy riders who were born to be reviled. At least as they appear in today’s sophomoric comedy of mild-mannered motorcyclers in midlife crisis, these “Wild Hogs” don’t exactly bring home the bacon.
John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen and William H. Macy in leather are certainly affable enough, individually and collectively, to the extent that their own real-life personalities are allowed to emerge through the slop that is the lazy, mechanical “Hogs” screenplay. But as written by debuting hack Brad Copeland and directed with the cinematic equivalent of a sledgehammer by Walt Becker (“National Lampoon’s Van Wilder”), it mangles a potentially amusing premise by resorting to the lamest good-guy-versus-bad-guy clichés for plot and skeletal stock stereotypes for characters. To wit:
Woody Stevens (Travolta) is a major player who’s just gone broke and lost his supermodel wife. Bobby Davis (Lawrence) is a plumber who’s not allowed to pursue his dreams of being a writer because he’s so hen-pecked by his screaming wife.
Doug Madsen (Allen) is a suburban dentist with high levels of cholesterol and low levels of respect from his teenage son.
And Dudley Frank (Macy) is a hopelessly klutzy computer nerd with no game when it comes to the ladies.
What’s their only escape from the soul-sucking existence of the Domesticated Modern American Male? Riding around on their Harley-Davidsons!
But a cross-country road trip goes to hell when the boys provoke a gang of real hardcore bikers led by Ray Liotta (parodying his menacing screen image).
Who, oh, who ever will triumph in the end? Will the wimpy losers turn into macho winners? Uh, duh.
The flick’s silly flurry of lowbrow gags are based on homosexual panic, bodily functions and slapstick skits with birds and bulls. Instead of letting the humor naturally evolve from the characters’ relatable frustration, which is how the piece begins, it forces out one exaggerated, audience-pandering scenario after another.
Messieurs Travolta, Lawrence and friends labor mightily to make the farce fierce. But one can only guess that these already wealthy stars were only really “Wild” for their big fat paychecks here.
‘Wild Hogs’
2/5 stars
Starring: John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen, William H. Macy
Director: Walt Becker
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content and some violence
