This week, the Washington Post fact-checked Donald Trump’s charge that Hillary Clinton does not have “a presidential look.”
“Trump is not wrong,” the Post‘s Alexandra Petri wrote. “[Hillary Clinton] is, after all, female, something that no prior president has had the misfortune to be.”
So how does one go about getting that elusive “presidential look”?
Petri delved into the outfit and beard choices of presidents past, to the amusement of lovers of American history and weird haircuts alike, in order to find out.
Some notable trendsetters, as observed in presidential portraits:
George Washington To Get This Look: Lose all but one of your teeth. Replace them with an elaborate contraption containing hippopotamus ivory, brass screws and human teeth so that you look slightly uncomfortable at all times. To complete the outfit, steal Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s neckwear. James Madison To Get This Look: Forget to sleep for four days. Dress up, halfheartedly, as a vampire. When asked to pose, think about people who annoy you and children who have done some nonsense. Martin Van Buren To Get This Look: Ask your stylist, “What if I were a bowling pin, but with hair?” “Do you want your ears to be visible at all?” “Absolutely not.” Ulysses S. Grant To Get This Look: Drink continuously all throughout the Civil War. Do not stop drinking when the war ends. Why bother shaving your neck beard? It always grows back, anyhow. Start buttoning your vest, then stop. What’s the point? What’s the point of anything? William Howard Taft Get This Look: Eat an entire ham. Now another ham. You’re doing great! Just 83 more hams to go!
Read the rest, from the first president to the 44th.
