Is John Travolta’s grief about son Jett’s death testing his faith? According to a report in a U.K. tabloid, the actor and prominent Scientologist has been having doubts about the controversial sect since his 16-year-old firstborn died after a seizure in January.

The Daily Mail claims John’s friends believe he is disappointed that following Scientology’s teachings on medical treatment did not help Jett, who was rumored to have been autistic. The “Hairspray” star is said to regret eschewing prescription medication in favor of the group’s so-called purification rituals. (John and wife Kelly Preston reportedly took Jett off an anti-seizure drug they said wasn’t working.)