Davis oversees bereavement counseling as president and CEO of Capital Caring, an Arlington-based hospice provider, and one of the oldest and largest such organizations in the United States. The holidays are about celebrating — so why do we get weepy?
At heart, we’re very connecting to our roots, our family, at this time of the year. The holidays remind us of a time when life wasn’t so complicated, when material things didn’t mean so much. It’s about being together, enjoying good food. So I think part of us really longs for those times, and the people who made us who we are. My dad had seven siblings who didn’t have children, so they played a big part in raising me. My dad’s been gone now 10 years, and all his siblings are gone, and at this time of year I really think about them and how much fun it was to be with them.
What should you remember if grief attacks in the middle of a festive gathering?
It’s good to recognize that we should be sentimental during this time of year, but that if the people who are gone were here, they’d say, “Get busy! Enjoy yourself!” We miss people, and that’s a good thing. Let that be your launch to live each day to the fullest, to eat well, to get out more, to be nicer to each other. I know if my aunts and uncles were around, they’d say, “Do you really need that extra piece of cake?”
What about that extra swig of eggnog?
You don’t want to overindulge yourself in alcohol. Maybe there’s a moment where we think, “This is making me happy,” but over the course of an evening it will actually exacerbate then feeling of sadness. It’s nice to toast to people, but to overindulge makes us feel worse.
– Lisa Gartner
