It’s been two years since my first child was born, and it still sometimes feels weird to think of myself as a mother. Maybe it’s because I was 33 when my son came along — that’s a significant chunk of my life spent not being a mother, which may explain why I sometimes feel like a fraud.
Sure, I’ve read all the books and Web sites, and I regularly dog my pediatrician with questions about vaccines, allergies, behavior and percentiles. And sometimes I even feel like I’m in total control of the chaos that accompanies parenthood. But there are definitely days when I wake up thinking, “How did this happen? Is this really my life?”
The name of this new column, The Mother Ship, is a nod to that alien feeling. But it’s also a tip of the hat to the flip side — the side that embraces my role as the hub of the family, the clearinghouse where love and responsibility are collected and distributed.
By way of introduction, here’s a little background on my family life. I’ve been married going on eight years, but my husband and I have been together for nearly 14. I work two part-time jobs, aside from this new column, and my mother essentially lives with us in our D.C. row house, taking care of our son. (And yes, my husband’s OK with that.)
In case you didn’t read this between the lines, I’ll spell it out for you: I am not an expert. I’m just a parent who happens to be a writer who also seems to have an abundance of information and opinions. This means my column will often be a personal reflection of what’s going on in my life and finding ways to help readers deal with similar situations — or just laugh about it.
You may read this column and think, “Amen!” Or maybe something more like, “What the hell?” And that’s the way it should be. One thing I’ve learned over the past two years is that there are few instances where there is only one right answer. Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. We’ll just have to agree to disagree on occasion.
What I’m hoping to do with this column is tackle some of the funny, serious, perplexing, entertaining and sometimes painful aspects of being part of a modern family.
There’s so much that divides us — age, background, beliefs — but we are all bonded by a love for our children and a desire to do right by them. We are human, we make mistakes, we move on.
And that last part is key. It’s hard being a parent, and we have to stick together. Recognizing that is crucial — and laughing about it is an important step toward maintaining sanity.
Rina Rapuano is the assistant food and wine editor at Washingtonian magazine and a contributing editor for Museum magazine.
E-mail her at [email protected].
