Ever since the Denicore family of Loudoun County found themselves in the news, their example has been preying on my mind. Amy and Mark Denicore, you may recall, have been charged with multiple misdemeanors for chronically dropping their three children off at public school several minutes late. The couple’s case goes to full trial on March 14.
Of course the first thought most fellow parents will have is: Boy, am I glad I don’t live in Loudoun County! The second thought is less defined; less a thought, in fact, than a delicate miasma of guilty sympathy.
Who among us has not, at one time or another, delivered a child to a classroom when everyone is already seated and the instruction has begun? It happens, and with some families it happens more often than not.
There’s a little friendly cringing bob that parents do, as we wave through the glass window at the teacher, whom we have interrupted through our irritating fecklessness.
That the fault might lie with some jerk who had the bad timing to cause a fender bender just as we were getting on the Beltway does not excuse us. Our child is still late, still a disruption.
That the fault might lie with us because we lay in bed for a few desperate minutes after the alarm had gone off, or with our child because he could not find his other sneaker and he needed it for gym, or with our husband, who we thought had put gas in our empty tank when he borrowed our car but didn’t, thus causing us to lose precious minutes refueling en route — that any of these things might be true does not obscure the plain fact that we are tardy.
The child, meanwhile, whether culpable or not, has to walk into a room full of watchful, sniggering classmates who are typically more than happy to string out the disruption. Punctuality is difficult to achieve; lack of it must drive teachers absolutely mad.
A friend of mine was raised to believe that getting places on time was a measure of respect. Her father lectured frequently on this topic, and the lesson sank in.
In college, my friend began dating a boy who was chronically late. She’d get dolled up for a seven o’clock rendezvous and then she’d wait, drumming her fingers for the 20 or 30 minutes it took him to show. This happened a couple of times and then, abruptly, it stopped.
Why? Well, when on their next date the boy failed to arrive punctually, my friend didn’t stick around. He tracked her down the next day, poured out his apologies, and that evening showed up at her dorm right on time. He had run there in his socks, carrying his shoes because he hadn’t left himself enough time to lace them up.
In Japan, schools (infamously) do something like that: They lock the doors once the day has begun. Educators in Loudoun County and elsewhere might want to try doing the same.
Meghan Cox Gurdon’s column appears on Sunday and Thursday. She can be contacted at [email protected].
