After a decades-long reign as the most terrifying of phrases, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help” relinquished its hold on the top spot this morning, thanks to the appearance of a fresh newcomer brought up from a farm team-The Akron Creepy Statists, presumably-by President Barack Obama:
Speaking from his retirement home in Sweden about his dethroning, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help” mourned the changing nature of government expansionism that makes it impossible for him to compete in the Obama era. “Believe me, I would have loved to guarantee warranties when I was in my prime. But back then, you had to go to other countries to find government interference on that level,” he said, wistfully recalling the time he spent in Latvia during much of the 1980s after being run off by the American administration of the time. “These young whippersnappers just don’t know how good they’ve got it.”
