THE END OF THE WORLD … ON METRO
Evening commuters on a Red Line Metro train were left wondering if they looked like a car full of heathens when they were treated to a full-on doomsday warning for the duration of their ride home.
According to one rider who boarded at Farragut North, a tall man with a long white beard and carrying a ram’s horn was standing at one end of the car, while a woman wearing a long flowing skirt and waving a Bible around stood at the other end.
Both were proselytizing about the end of the world, warning their unsuspecting riders that the end was near and strongly suggesting they repent their sins ASAP.
Far from being concerned, most of the riders chuckled and made wise cracks to each other as the duo kept it up for the entire length of the Red Line.
The rider decided to take an informal poll, asking, “Which do you think he got first? The ram’s horn or the really long beard? Because if you have one, you definitely need the other.”
The verdict? The ram’s horn.
HAVE A HEART
A 30-something woman was walking down K Street to her downtown office one morning when she noticed a man talking loudly on his cellphone just up ahead. He was gesturing animatedly and seemed perturbed by his conversation, and, being the nosy type, she quickened her pace so she could eavesdrop.
“That’s heartless, heartless,” he was saying. “Even if I couldn’t stand the woman, I wouldn’t dump her if she was pregnant. That’s heartless.”
Oh. Ouch. Heartless indeed.
BERRY INTERESTING
The Washington Youth Garden at the U.S. National Arboretum apparently attracts more than the underage set.
One morning, a group of adults were wandering around the child-friendly garden sans children, admiring the plant displays just like kids. In fact, they were admiring them even more so than the kids present. When they spotted a plant with a sign that said “touch me,” they oohed and ahhed, calling over the others in their group. The leaves of the Mimosa pudica folded up when touched, like fans collapsing.
They stayed for several minutes touching the leaves. But a 2-year-old who was also exploring nearby was decidedly less interested in the shrinking leaves. Instead, she wanted to eat strawberries from plants on display nearby.
WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE
A Silver Spring resident was taking the Ride On bus up Piney Branch Road one evening when a red car ahead screeched to a halt.
The driver’s side door opened, and a woman jumped out. She rescued her white takeout container from the car’s roof, hopped back in and went on her way.
FEELING DEFLATED
An infrequent cyclist, feeling pleased with her new helmet and blinking safety lights, took to the streets one evening for a cross-town venture.
She was surprised to find herself surrounded by other cyclists on the bike lanes on 14th Street Northeast near Capitol Hill — a mom and her son in front of her, another man behind her.
The woman was musing on the odd feeling of unintentionally joining the hip bike community when the man behind her said, “Hey, you’ve either got a flat or your back tire is just really low.”
So much for fitting in.
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